Boys, Bunks and Bloody Bureaucracy...

An investigation is to be carried out by the Economic Development Ministry after an 11-year-old boy broke his arm yesterday, falling in a Department of Conservation (DOC) hut in the Abel Tasman National Park, South Island. He was climbing up a ladder to the top bunk in the Bark Bay Hut, slipped and took a tumble.
So let’s get this straight – a costly nationwide investigation of all DOC bunks (let's make DOC the scapegoat, shall we?!), just because clumsy Little Jimmy fell off a ladder while clambering up to bed!
Puh-leez!!
Quick! Immediately replace all ladders with fully-enclosed mechanical lifts… top bunk users must wear a full safety harness attached by wire rope to roof rafters… harnesses to be fitted with air bags…

Scene of the crime...

floors under top bunks will be replaced by safety netting to a margin of no less than 2m.in all directions… Wet Wipes must be on-hand to clean up the mess when Little Jimmy wets himself from the stress of climbing so high... and no youths may use the top bunks unless accompanied by an adult (!!!).
Anyone seen my well-thumbed copy of Manifesto Of The Nanny State?