Maori Showpiece Canned

Ngai Tahu has canned plans for a huge CBD cultural centre, earmarked as one of the anchor projects in the Christchurch blueprint.
Instead it'll focus on earthquake recovery "at whanau level", and projects like housing schemes are of higher priority.
The cultural centre was one 17 anchor projects unveiled as part of the 2012 Christchurch Central Recovery Plan. It was intended as a welcome point for visitors, and Ngai Tahu was to take the lead.

The plan envisioned a "world class cultural centre... as a focal point for cultural celebration and diversity...(to) reflect and celebrate... maori culture, and acknowledge Christchurch's place in, and connections with, the Pacific."
But the cultural centre has staggered along an uncertain path since then, and few details ever came to light. In 2014, the bros were considering shifting the centre to Cathedral Square, as part of an $80-million "living cathedral" concept. That pie-in-the-sky involved a floating timber canopy connecting the cathedral and the cultural centre.
Quite frankly I'm relieved this joke has died. It always felt like a PC attempt to force a multi-cultural image onto Christchurch, and persuade tourists that maori culture is an integral core of our existence. This may be the case in -say - Rotorua, but not in Christchurch!
Simply consider other similar mis-adventures to see what flops they rapidly became eg: the Tupperwaka in Auckland. If Ngai Tahu wish to advance such an idea in the future, that's fine...on their own land, with their own money! And then they can reap all the rewards too!
But there is no requirement for a huge cultural marae in central Christchurch. It will not advance the city at all, and there's plenty more good that can be done with $80-million of public money than that!
Thank God for a bit of common sense in this rebuild debacle!

The Force Is Too Strong For Internet

The Force has awoken...and crashed the internet.
Tickets went on sale for Star Wars: The Force Awakens at 10am yesterday. Within minutes, Reading Cinema's website crashed due to heavy demand, and other NZ cinemas were nearly sold out for midnight sessions.
As has been a tradition dating back to 1997, Star Wars will debut at a special midnight screening. Sales for all sessions were going well prior the crash, but the midnight shows were proving the most popular.
Reading Cinema's spokesman says the last time he remembered demand for a film peaking this high was in the run-up to Avatar.
Twitter was glowing like a lightsabre, post-ticket release, with some twits gloating about seeing the movie in New Zealand before the rest of the world (due to the timezone difference).
But one indigenous twit seemed dissatisfied: "Given all Star Wars clones are maori actors, why can't we have lightsabre taiahas?" (a maori weapon) "And just imagine a clone army haka!"
Oh puh-leez, talk about being trapped in a space vortex. Next there'll be a maori claim for intellectual property rights!
The 7th installment in George Lucas' much beloved and obsessed-over franchise will premiere in NZ at 12.01am on Thursday, 17 December.

Maori stormtroopers - yea, right!

Eyes Peeled For New NZ Banknotes

Our long-awaited new $5 and $10 banknotes will be in circulation from next week...but we may not see them for a few weeks.
That's because the Reserve Bank distributes banknotes only when it receives orders from banks. Orders for replacement $5 and $10 notes come in less frequently than other denominations, as they tend to circulate much more between retailers and consumers.

"Where can I get a few billion more?"

So meanwhile the old notes are still totally legal.
Currently about 345,000 of the new notes have been sent out to banks - that compares to about 45-million existing $5 and $10 notes currently in circulation, so they may take a while to filter down to our wallets!
The new notes still feature legendary adventurer Edmund Hillary and suffragette Kate Sheppard but also include more Maori designs. The rest of the new notes ($20, $50 and $100), will be released in April 2016.
Personally, I think they look bright and interesting (although the image of the Queen does show her advancing years perhaps a bit too realistically).
But not everyone is happy...and, par for the course these days, those who are moaning are our indigenous brethren!
A certain tribal group is complaining that a design (on the new $10) from a Maori meeting house has been used without their permission. And the bros have even rolled out their lawyers to battle for their intellectual property rights.
The fact that the meeting house was confiscated in 1867 after the Maori Wars, and has been on public display in a national museum for many decades since, seems to have escaped them.
It appears they're just focused on a fast compensation opportunity. Now there's a thought: just wait until the current notes are no longer legal tender, and then give the brothers the entire NZ supply. They can wallpaper every whare in the land with 'em if they like! A great recycling initiative...

UPDATE: 10 Nov.2015 - Ha, the joke's on bro! Turns out that the decorative maori panel on the $10 note - subject of legal action to stop its use - was never actually part of said maori meeting house at all! Oh dear, how sad, no compensation!!

Flag 'Em All!

The costly and wasteful process to choose what could be New Zealand's new flag has been trimmed down to 40 options.
The Flag Consideration Panel has released a "long list", chosen from more than 10,000 public submissions.
Chairman John Burrows: "A potential new flag should unmistakably be from NZ and celebrate us as a progressive, inclusive nation that's connected to its environment, and has a sense of its past and vision for its future."
The chosen 40 will now be subject to further scrutiny, including whether any breach intellectual property law. [Oh yes, mustn't forget that some maori think they have rights over a koru, and the NZ Rugby Union reckons it can claim the silver fern!]
Mid-next month, the panel will announce four of them, to be put to a national referendum. The winner will then go head-to-head with the current flag in another referendum in March 2016.
Prime Munster Johnno Key is trying to permanently stamp his legacy on this country by changing the flag, claiming ours is often mistaken for Australia's. But the cost of merely deciding whether to change the flag - up to $26m! - has come under heavy fire.
The Top 40 List is dominated by designs featuring koru, stars and ferns. Spokesman for the 'Silver Fern Flag' group Kyle Lockwood: "Like the maple leaf to Canada, the silver fern screams 'New Zealand', and it's not just a sports symbol. It's on our army and navy logos, our firefighters', police and sportsmen's uniforms, our money, passports,

national airline, and soon it'll be on NZ rockets sending satellites into space...it's our national symbol and it's time we put it on our flag." Hmmm, as you can tell, Kyle is quite OTT about the fern!
As for me, there's not ONE on the "long list" that smokes my tyres. I say: flag 'em all and keep what we've got!

Maori Dodge A Bullet...Again

Maori caught driving without a licence in Sth.Auckland are being let off a $400 fine, and are being offered support instead!

"Holy shit, man, don't touch him! He's BRO!"

These most-curious Counties Manukau police guidelines are aimed at reducing maori offending. Bros busted behind the wheel without a licence, or in breach of their conditions, get referred for training and dodge the ticket that they're legally obliged to pay...just like the rest of us have to!
Superintendent Wally Haumaha, Police National HQ: "A panel looks at a whole range of issues that caused that person to drive without a licence or why that person hasn't had a licence, and then provides some support."

A real Wally?

Jeez, Wally, ya don't need a touchy-feely hand-holding support panel to diagnose their "whole range of issues" as:
1. Want to drive, eh bro.
2. Duuuh, don't have a licence.
3. Foo, cuz, gonna drive anyway.
4. After all, play lotsa Grand Theft Auto - so how hard can driving be? Chuurrr!
The policy is a part of a nationwide programme Turning of the Tide, aiming to reduce Maori offending. But Wally assures us it's not a race-based issue: "It just happens that more Maori drivers are unlicensed. So if they're unlicensed, we wanna know why."
Hmm, so maybe this Wally IS an actual WALLY!!! ANY programme targetting ANY race for ANY reason IS race-based. Get out the dictionary and start reading, Wally! I suspect you really mean that it's not racist! THAT is a completely different matter...
However, for now, all the rest of NZ sees...is Maori being allowed to dodge their legal responsibilities.
That IS institutionalised race-based favouritism. And it must stop!

Flag It Away, John!

NZ's Prime Minister has been pushing his "new flag" hobbyhorse again, using the devisive Waitangi Day commemorations as a platform.
In a speech to business and maori leaders, John Key spoke of his vision for NZ in 25 years' time when, in 2040, we celebrate 200 years of nationhood: "(By then) I'd like to see a new New Zealand flag raised at the Waitangi Day dawn service. That's my personal preference...I think the (current) flag captures a colonial and post-colonial era whose time has passed."
And Johnno promised that maori would be fully consulted and have a say in the design choice. Like...hello!!! As maori make up only 10% of our population, they should only get 10% of the consultation. We ALL have a choice in this flag - IF it happens - not just one race. Cut out the political tokenism, PM!

"All my own work" - John Key

Johnno still wants the silver fern on the flag: "It's the symbol of NZ, it's internationally recognisable." But many point out that splashing said fern on a black background (a la the precious bloody All Blacks *yawn*) would create an image too similar to the ISIS terror group.
JK's always quick to add that, other than changing the flag, he remains a constitutional monarchist and does not want to see NZ become a republic.

PM's preference...and to hell with you!

John Key says he's softened on his preference for a silver fern on a black flag, instead liking this Kyle Lockwood design.
But do you agree that the colour scheme too closely resembles the maori protest flag, and thus reeks of the arse-licking tokenism that JK spewed forth at Waitangi this year?
A referendum on the flag will be held over this parliamentary term, in a two-step process. Voters will be able to choose between an alternative flag, and then whether that flag should replace the current one.

Maori Veto Vehicles On Volcanoes

NONE shall pass...coz Rangi says so!

Hands up, if you didn't see this coming!
Driving to the top of Auckland's volcanic cones is ending, starting with a ban on all vehicles up Mt Eden. This may be followed by a ban on other volcanoes with road access - Mt Wellington, No Tree Hill, Mt Albert, Mt Roskill and Mt Victoria.
A new authority (heavily weighted to a maori perspective) has approved extending a 2011 ban - on buses driving to the Mt Eden summit - to all vehicles.
But Tourism Export Council CEO Lesley Immink warns the move is not in line with the work of Auckland Tourism, Events and Economic Development to boost city tourism. She claims many coaches no longer go to Mt Eden, and instead give tourists the harbour view from the Michael Joseph Savage Memorial at Bastion Point: most Asian

groups don't want to walk 200m up to the summit, so their tour companies avoid Mt Eden.
Interesting that 2/3 of those responding to a NZ Herald strawpoll felt vehicular access should be allowed.
A 'how and when' report will be presented to the Tupuna Maunga o Tamaki Makaurau Authority in April for rubber stamping. It's likely vehicles will be only allowed halfway up the volcano to a kiosk area where there'll be parking and turning: people will then walk 200m to the summit. Still figuring out how to get elderly and disabled up there...oh yea, and rules for bikes too.
Hmmm, wonder what the rules will be, regarding maori-operated nicky-nacky-plastic-tiki stalls at that kiosk area!
One council representative said no-one was allowed to drive around Stonehenge in England, and the same should apply to Mt Eden. She forgets however that the walk from parking to Stonehenge is short and flat, not 200m up a 45-degree slope! "Maungawhau is a respectful place and it gives reverence to walk up to look at the view..." but it only has spirituality if you're the minority who actually believe it's some slumbering demi-god!
In fact, given that the hilltop fortress was abandoned about 1700, there was no valid maori ownership claim to be made on this overgrown pile of scoria! But the PC Brigade gave control to the bros a few years back...so no use crying over spilt puha, eh cuz!
Still, what's the bet we'll next be subjected to demands for koha (donation) for our wee stroll up to the top! If so, how much of that will go into summit preservation...and how much into the local iwi's KFC fund? Chuuurrr!!!

Stupid Is As Stupid Does...Part Two

Rise up, brothers in blood-letting!
Come to sunny Hawke's Bay and learn how to behead people!
A Hawke's Bay Muslim is calling on "souljahs of Allah" to make their way to Hastings and join him in forming the "Islamic State of Aotearoa".

Souljah Stupid

Te Amorangi Kireka-Whaanga heads the Aotearoa Maori Muslim Association: you'll recall I blogged about this pillick last month.
Last weekend he re-named his merry band the Islamic State of Aotearoa - and when you consider the Islamic State's violent reputation in the Middle East, this MUST ring warning bells.
Souljah Stupid has pledged support for IS on social media, saying it'll bring down Western civilisation. IS has been taking over cities in Syria and Iraq and conducting high-profile beheadings of hostages...all peace, love and mungbeans! But Souljah Stupid maintains he's "a peace advocate trying to achieve my goal of winning a Nobel peace prize". Riiiiigghhtt!
On Facebook, he urged "Muslim souljahs, warriors and followers of prophet Muhammad to make their way to Hastings and blow everyone away with the beauty and magic of love, truth, wisdom and divine blessings. Out with the old and in with the new, let's radiate the power of truth, the magic of it upon the starving souls of mankind."
A member of Hawke's Bay's sole mosque says Souljah Stupid's views do not reflect those of the wider Muslim community. Known as "Izhaq" to local Muslims, this idiot does not worship there regularly and members think he's gone a bit ga-ga.
No normal, law-abiding NZer accepts there's any time or place for this kind of behaviour. I'm confident SIS has Stupid under close watch. I just hope, if a moment arises when decisive action is needed, they do not hesitate...

The future of sunny Hawke's Bay...?

Maori Muslim Radical: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

The spectre of maori radicals has raised its ugly head again, with an influential NZ maori Muslim openly supporting the Islamic State

rabid radical

militancy.
Te Amorangi Kireka-Whaanga heads the Aotearoa Maori Muslim Assn. In 2010, he was named in the world's 500 most influential Muslims by a Jordanian group.
He says NZ fighters should not be stopped from joining IS. His Facebook page - adorned with IS images - has been repeatedly shut down by administrators.
Islamic State has been taking over towns in Syria and Iraq, killing and beheading hostages, as it tries to impose its rabid ultra-radical view of Islam.

Spoiling for a fight

Kireka-Whaanga says Muslims are being killed all over the world, the United Nations "doesn't care" and he understands IS's actions. Ahhhhh, so this is all about defending the Muslim faith, is it? Nothing to do with his own violent tendencies and Mongrel Mob gang connections?? Or that he may have a poor-little-hard-done-by maori-underdog axe to grind against the oppressive colonial white pigdog NZ govt.???
Federation of Islamic Associations (FIANZ) met last week with the govt.over public harassment concerns, while police asked community leaders to keep an eye out for changing behaviour among potential radicals.
Kireka-Whaanga says PM John Key should be worried, because IS was going to "bring down Western civilisation". He says his family wants to move to Syria but he expects his passport would be cancelled.
Key is due to make a speech tomorrow, outlining the govt's plans to combat foreign fighters.
Security Intelligence Service director Rebecca Kitteridge says IS urgings, that "every Muslim should find a crusader and kill him", brings the threat closer to home than NZers think: "There're people we're concerned about here..." She refused to discuss individuals, but these are not empty words. Any civil libertarian wanting to argue the toss need only recall Daryl Jones from Christchurch (aka Muslim bin John), killed by a drone in Yemen in November 2013.
One of the few recognised terrorist experts in this region - Dr Rohan Gunaratna, Head of the International Centre for Political Violence and Terrorism Research - said in 2005 that there were up to 10 potential cells here in NZ. That number is sure to have increased in light of current global events.
FIANZ vice-prez Jahved Khan says Kireka-Whaanga is well-known to them but he doesn't believe NZ has anything to fear: "We are concerned about his statements but we're not really concerned that he will do something vicious."
Ironically, on the same day this story broke, the headlines read:
IS Militants kill 322 Iraqis, including women and children, and dump their bodies down a well.
So we have nothing to fear from IS? Riiiiigghhtt!

Sense And Sensibility

"Gisborne" is not it's official name!
According to the New Zealand Geographic Board, the city's name has never been gazetted and is regarded (by the board) as a collected or recorded name.

NZ Geo.Board secretary Wendy Shaw: "There is no record for either Gisborne or Turanga (the original maori name)."
During colonial settlement, many place names were classified as 'recorded' and had 'pseudo-official status'. The status of Gisborne as a place name is identical to that of the 'North Island' and 'South Island'. It was revealed last year that those names had never been gazetted... remember what happened after THAT revelation!
87% of public submissions favoured the status quo. However NZGB dismissed those supporting numbers, and was swayed by submitters' reasons. Yeup, if you're a minority holding a good-enough reason (one of the BEST reasons being "I'm an oppressed minority"), you'll win the day!
So...Gisborne was named after William Gisborne, colonial secretary in the William Fox-led NZ Govt from 1869-1872. Good enough reason? The town's Post Office took the name Gisborne in 1870. Howzat! And the next confirmed official usage of the name was in 1877 when Gisborne Borough Council was formed. The clincher, surely!
Ahhhh, but wait: it's believed the name was changed from Turanga (shortened from Turanga-nui-a-Kiwa,"great standing place of Kiwa", to avoid confusion with Tauranga in the Bay of Plenty. Kiwa was supposedly the witch doctor of the Horouta canoe, one of the supposed canoes that brought maori from their supposed homeland of Hawaiiki.) Supposed...supposed...supposed...
Well, in THAT case, we MUST change the city name to that of a maori, mustn't we! It's the way of the PC world! No matter that virtually no-one will want it, as long as the vocal minority is placated! But wait: even THEY are confused, having also credited Mr.Kiwa with being the supposed commander of another supposed migratory canoe! And some even claim Gisborne was first named Tairawhiti - "the coast upon which the sun shines across the water."
Oh, the pressure! I know, let's call for public submissions again!

One Law for ALL, Bro!

Bright-lookin' kid, eh bro!

So The Crown WILL appeal the maori king's son avoiding drink-driving and theft charges.
There was social uproar when 19yr.old Korotangi Paki dodged two counts of burglary, one of theft and one of drink-driving last month. His lawyer successfully argued that a conviction could bar Paki from ascending the maori throne. Potential successors needed an unblemished record because of the custodial responsibilities involved as king. The discharge was widely criticised, with cries of racial favouritism and political intervention being levelled at the judge.
Paki was stopped in Gisborne last October with a breath test reading of 761: the current limit for drivers under 20 is zero. He got off. Paki's three co-accused in a March theft and burglary were each fined $400 and discharged without conviction. He got off this too.
The Crown Law Office has laid the appeal after "a very thorough review" by senior counsel, and the hearing's set for 17 November.
Quite frankly, if wanna-be maori kings need a squeaky-clean record, then it is up to THEM to behave in a law-abiding honest upright manner, as befitting a future leader. There is NO REASON for ANYONE from WHATEVER walk of life to think they can get away with lawbreaking because of race, colour or creed.
Let unbiased justice prevail.

Three Times Not Out...If You're Bro Royalty

King and Son Co.Ltd.: such regal bearing!

Korotangi Paki appeared in the Auckland District Court this week on charges of drink-driving, two counts of burglary and one of theft (the last three while on bail).
If this 19yr.old had been anyone else, he'd have been nailed.
But daddy is the maori king, King Tuheitia, so Judge Philippa Cunningham jumped through PC hoops and granted him a conditional discharge without conviction.
Immediately a public backlash began: a Stuff.co.nz on-line public

opinion poll says it all...
According to his lawyer, Paki could only succeed his ailing father to the throne if he had a clean record, so Madam Judge ruled the impact of a conviction would exceed the gravity of the offending.
Outside court, the family's representative Tuku Morgan (yes, he who spent $4,000 of Aotearoa TV's bucks on undies for himself in 1997!!) said the judge's decision had been a victory for maori and recognition of their unique culture: "The judge has recognised a very important and compelling cultural difference; that he is entwined in a succession process that one day will give rise to a new head of the kingdom, and his opportunity should not be in any way shape or form minimised or compromised."
University of Auckland law professor and author of Criminal Procedure in NZ Bill Hodge says that argument is bollocks: "That is up to the Maori authorities in question, not a matter of New Zealand law and to that extent is one law for common people and another law for royalty."
Paki has exploited his supposed royal status and culture to trick the judge into discharging him without conviction. What kind of message does this send to other NZers, of ANY ethnicity?
And quite frankly, as the judge obviously bought into this holier-than-thou royalty rubbish without adherence to the laws of this land (where ONE law is meant to fit ALL), what does this say about her??!!

Was It THAT Difficult, Bro?

Dateline: last Wednesday.
In the NZ Parliament, the Labour Party tried to extend paid parental leave to 26 weeks. A majority vote would have got its bill a second

reading.
All it needed was the allied Maori Party MPs to fill out proxy voting forms in the affirmative. Was this too difficult?
Evidently - YES!!!
I could be charitable and say that an administrative error caused the "native representatives" to vote the wrong way.

Or I could simply ponder how hard it must have been to put a tick in the 'yes' box.
The error meant the bill was shot down unexpectedly, after National cast the Maori Party's three votes along with its own and that of ACT, which meant the bill was voted down 63-58.
The Maori Party now has permission of Parliament to have its three votes recounted in favour.
But the fact remains: tick 'yes' if in favour, tick 'no' if not in favour. How hard can it be?
Perhaps - and I muse aloud in a 'devil's advocate' manner - instead of spending $220million each year on promoting the maori language, we send those Maori Party MPs to a NZ kindergarten for a quick refresher in what 'yes' and 'no' mean in english...
It ain't hard!

Eye For The Main Chance

Australia is about to witness first-hand the maori way of doing "volunteer" work.

Last weekend, the Victoria Maori Wardens in Australia officially launched. It was established mid-2012 as a not-for-profit organisation (note that!), after concerns about the number of maori youth involved in petty crimes in Oz. Since then 82 Maori Wardens have been sworn in, and local businesses have provided equipment for their use.
Now the group is appealing to NZ's High Commissioner in Canberra for financial support! Branch chairman James Hohepa Smith says it is important the High Commissioner knows about the benefits of having the wardens patrol the streets with the Victoria police on Friday and Saturday nights, watching out for wayward youth.
I doubt there's anyone in NZ, or representing this country overseas, who does NOT know the value of Maori Wardens. These volunteers have considerable success in bringing wayward bro teens to heel.
But note: they ARE volunteers. By their very title, they do it for love. Nothing more. No dosh, no moolah, no folding, no money. They volunteer.
So why is the Victoria branch of these "volunteers" putting its hand out for financial support?
And furthermore, if they're keeping troubled maori out of Australian courts and jails, then why is New Zealand expected to pay for that?
What benefits do we back home gain from their "volunteer" service abroad?
+ Meanwhile the Maori Council in NZ is bickering that technically, the Ozzie group can't call itself Maori Wardens, because it's not covered by the same laws as back home.
+ And there're even some mutterings from Ocker rednecks about brownskinned vigilantes... 
Ahhhh, feel the love...

Blue Smoke Drifts By...

Pixie Williams, singer of the Kiwi classic Blue Smoke, has "drifted by into the deep blue sky": she died last Friday, aged 85.
Pikiteora Maude Emily Gertrude Edith Williams was born in 1928 in northern Hawke's Bay. Her parents died young and, in 1945, she shifted to Wellington and into the YWCA Hostel in Oriental Parade. There, her beautiful voice came to the attention of 28th Maori Battalion veteran Ruru Karaitiana, who was looking for a singer to bring his song Blue Smoke to life.

Karaitiana composed the song while on a troop ship in 1940. It was popular at troop concerts long before it was recorded in 1949 by Pixie Williams and the Ruru Karaitiana Quintette at the Radio Corporation's Columbus Recording Studio in Wellington.
Blue Smoke, sung by Williams, was the first record wholly processed and recorded in New Zealand. It was a huge hit, topping the charts for six weeks and selling 50,000 copies (despite having been rejected by London music publishers). Dean Martin was one of several international artists who covered it.
Pixie couldn't read music but taught herself to play guitar, ukulele, the banjo and piano accordion. Her promising singing career however eventually took a back seat to married life and raising four children. Later, at 73, Pixie decided to teach herself the organ...for something to do.
In 2011, a Pixie Williams CD collection of 13 songs was released. After the launch, The Recording Industry Association of NZ presented Pixie with a Triple Platinum Award for Blue Smoke.

"Music - it's what keeps you going through good times and bad.

When you've got music in your life, you'll be ok."

Pixie Williams (1928-2013)

Majority Doesn't Matter When It's Maori

The majority of us want the names for New Zealand's two main islands to remain as they've always been – namely 'North Island' and 'South Island'.
So why the move to change the names? And why must the new names necessarily be…MAORI?
Well, it was revealed 'North Island' and 'South Island' were never official names. But does that matter? After all, it's how they're known, worldwide.
Well, it matters to the New Zealand Geographic Board (NZGB) which, to justify its existence, has proposed the islands be known by both their English and Maori names: 'North Island' or 'Te Ika-a-Maui'; and the 'South Island' or 'Te Waipounamu'.
Now, the NZGB will recommend to Maurice Williamson, Minister for Land Information, that NZers be given a choice about whether to use the English or Maori names. So after all the submissions, all the hoo-haa, all the devisive arguments… it's RECOMMENDED we're ALLOWED to call the islands whatever we're comfortable with!!! WTF…???!!!
87% of submissions supported officially calling it North Island; and 88% supported South Island. However NZGB chairman Dr Don Grant says the numbers in support "were not the main consideration"!! No, the board is guided more by the reasons provided by submitters for their support or objection. That's right: come up with a good reason and, even if you're a minority holding that view, you're likely to hold sway!!! In other words, if you can argue succinctly, intelligently, fluently that Stewart Island should be named 'Snagglepuss Mattress Fluff', your wish may well come true! Bizarre.
If that's truly the board's method of determination, then let's just change ALL place names to maori NOW. Then we can save the country millions in submission hearings, and dissolve a board that seems to ignore the majority view! 
I can't WAIT to hear an overseas visitor tell me they've come to enjoy the scenery of Te Ika-a-Maui…

Why Does It Need A Name?

The biggest Tunnel Boring Machine (TBM) ever to be used in Australasia, and the 10th-biggest built worldwide, will soon arrive in NZ to help build Auckland's Waterview Connection.
The 14m-diameter mega TBM will dig two 2.4km tunnels over the next two years, burrowing 45m underground to complete a motorway ring route around the city. To the vast majority of us, it's simply a bloody great tunneling machine. Most of its work goes on outta sight, and we probably won't even reflect on its gargantuan glory when we drive through its efforts in 2017.
But for tunnellers, their superstition supposedly demands that every machine is given a female name before it (or rather she) starts tunnelling. Ever heard of this before??? Yeup, there're intelligent skilled men working deep underground, who harbour superstitions probably originating pre-Industrial Revolution! Really???
Auckland's primary school children were asked to come up with a name for this one. The shortlist was:
Soteria - the Greek goddess of safety and delivery without harm.
Alice - "Just like when she went through a rabbit hole into a wonderland, and when the tunnel is finished it will be wonderful because it will be faster to get to my cousins place."
Tara - short for Tarawa, maori for earthworm.
Ngawini - "known as the queen of the north. A strong fine-looking woman with a regal carriage, one who is expected to be obeyed. Ngawini lived in Paua, born in 1854. A tunnel-boring machine named Ngawini - strong, respected and connecting to north, to continue many more empires."
And we're expected to accept that primary school kids came up with these ideas by themselves? Riiiiigghhtt!
To cut a long tunnel story short, the winner was 'Alice', submitted by a Manukau 9yr.old.
So, now the cuteness and superstition is over, will we get references to Lewis Carroll, the Mad Hatter, Bill the Lizard, the Dormouse and the Cheshire Cat in news stories throughout this project, hmmm? No, I didn't think so. So why did this TBM need a name at all?
Incidentally, the words waka kotahi in the pic are the maori words for the NZ Transport Agency. It supposedly means "one vessel" and is intended to convey the concept of travelling together as one.
Why we need that name also escapes me.

It Had To Come Sooner Or Later

Whiteys, sign up here!

A Facebook group is thinking about registering itself as a New Zealand political party.
The Pakeha Party is considering the move after getting over 30,000 likes on Facebook in just one day.
The group was founded by Auckland businessman David Ruck only three weeks ago, to establish "equal rights and benefits for the pakeha of New Zealand" - and spreads the message: "If the maori get it, we want it too."
It now has over 38,000 likes, up from just 2,000 likes on Sunday morning! Amazing what a little Maori Language Week publicity will do! Now, compare that figure to the Maori Party's 1,400 Facebook fans.
His page has become so popular that Ruck says he is going to register a party with the Electoral Commission. He says his followers want to take a stand against maori privileges: "They're sick of all the separatism. They're sick of maori asking for certain privileges that europeans wouldn't be entitled to."
Ruck says he doesn't think there should be any race-related parties, but as long as there is a Maori Party and a Mana Party, there'll be a Pakeha Party. He said he created the page after Mana Party leader Hone Harawira proposed a scheme to build 10,000 houses a year for maori, by maori, which can only be sold on to maori. Mr Ruck says the proposal, which Hone-Bro claims will help maori get a foothold on the property ladder, angered him and he created the Facebook group in response.
Mr Ruck says pakeha translates as "the others" and therefore his party stands for everybody, repeatedly insisting it's not a racist party.
"Look, it's 2013 and I think we need to start creating less of a divide, and pushing forward as one."
I suggest Dave Ruck's plan should not be taken too seriously...!

PS: 10 July 2013 - Ruck's criminal background, and public reaction to his idea.

Maori: Precious Only To The Few

Do we? Really??

Last Saturday's editorial in The Press rode the coat-tails of Maori Language Week… and called for all children to learn the maori language at school!
It mounted the same old soapboxes used for years in this dull debate:
   "Maori has been an official language since 1987, yet we are a long way from embracing it. Some other countries have bilingual road signs; we generally do not. The current debate around whether the North and South Islands should also be called (maori names) is…controversial. Promoting and advancing the cause of te reo maori in this piecemeal way is likely to be slow and...factional." 
The editorial did not tackle WHY there's a general reluctance to wholeheartedly immerse the nation in maoritanga, or why – after $220million is spent annually to prop it up! YES! -  maori language usage is in steady decline.
   "Radio greetings, road signs, changing place names, and even Maori Language Week pronunciation campaigns can be seen as tokenism. None of them, individually, seriously advances the cause of the maori language. All of them together sometimes provoke carping and moaning …"
Like many white NZers, I have no issue with children learning maori history and culture at school…as long as it is evenly balanced with education about myriad other cultures that have shaped the world and impacted on our little corner of it. The maori viewpoint is not the ONLY viewpoint, and maori culture is NOT New Zealand culture – it is PART OF New Zealand culture (a point the PC Brigade dodges).

Leave Bonnie Alone, Bro!

It must be Maori Language Week again.
Why? Well, for one, the suddenly-changed placenames on the weather map can't be pronounced by the tv presenters or understood by most viewers...and two, because a minor story about a maori greeting has rocked the nation!
It all began when Gary Cody's company Travel NZ sent an email seeking advertising, to Queenstown retailer Bonnie Rodwell, which began "Kia ora". She replied: "Sorry but why do we need to be addressed with "kia ora"? Neither myself or my office manager speak maori. Maybe more people would advertise with you if we were addressed with a little more respect. Whilst it may be a great government issue (and perhaps a little 'in vogue'), some of us, in private businesses that support NZ, find it offensive. Whilst we have no issue with anything 'maori' at all, we find it plain silly." *shock*horror*probe* How DARE anyone criticise the sacred culture!
Gary Cody - who claims he was gobsmacked by the response...yes, "gobsmacked"! - can't believe someone relying on tourism is offended by the phrase. So, tit-for-tat, he's complained to the Race Relations Commissioner!
Media ran amok, and some precious pup even started a Facebook page encouraging others to bombard Bonnie by postcard, email or phone and share the 'kindness of kia ora'. Such orchestrated invasion of privacy is even less acceptable than wasting the Commissioner's time with such triviality. I trust this complaint is treated with the disdain it deserves.
But maybe the tide's turning back towards common sense: there seemed to be more in favour of Bonnie's right to her own viewpoint, than those gobsmacked that someone might not LUV te reo.
People need to get a serious grip. Some men don't like "G'day, mate"; some women hate being called "ma'am". If someone doesn't wish to be greeted with "kia ora", what's the harm in that?
Oh, I see now: the greeting is MAORI. Therefore we must all embrace it with gusto. Of course. Silly me. I stand corrected. Chuuurrr, cuz!