Porn or Pop? Adele Decides

Adele and Oscar

Keep your ears open for Adele's hot new comeback single, Hello…
and your eyes open for the new Rolling Stone mag, featuring the singer on the front cover.
But what a change! Gone is the big trademark hairstyle. She's stripped back to tousled wet hair and minimal make-up as she sits in a white dressing gown for the cover shot.
Adele says she's constantly asked whether she would pose for Playboy: "I've been asked so many times, it's ridiculous, but do they ask me because I'm a woman…or because I'm fat?" With the huge wave of public support for plus-size women, Adele says "...sometimes I'm curious to know if I would have been as successful if I wasn't plus-size. I think I remind everyone of themselves. Not saying everyone is my size, but it's relatable because I'm not perfect, and I think a lot of people are portrayed as perfect, unreachable and untouchable."

27yr.old Adele has enjoyed a phenomenal comeback, with the release of her first single since the James Bond Skyfall theme song in 2012.
An accompanying video for Hello has been released and it clocked a mammoth 100 million views in just five days. It's had the most US downloads sold in a week: 1.11m. It's the first song ever to sell 1m+ downloads in a week.
The catchy song was streamed 47.5m times globally on Spotify, making it the most-streamed song over a week in the online streaming platform's history.
The music video also broke records at entertainment platform Vevo.com, delivering more than 27m views in the first 24 hours after its release.
Can't wait for the new album, called 25, due out before the end of this month!

Unt Zen Zere Were Five!

The 'Red Peak' flag will be added as a fifth possible choice in the NZ flag referendum.
Prime Munster John Key says "I'm not wanting to stand in the way of people having some choice."
Bless him - how considerate!
This remarkable mid-week turn-around came after growing support for the design seemed to be ignored, following a petty wee stand-off between the govt and Labour opposition on how it could be added to the designs already selected.
Johnno Key repeatedly said he'd only add Red Peak as a 5th option if Labour supported the process rather than criticising it. Then the Green Party came up with a work-around...which featured them not siding with Labour - at least according to the PM.
However, Greens co-leader James Shaw said the whole process had been deeply flawed from the start, and it was "absurd" that they had to come up with a solution.
Labour leader Andrew Little has accused Key of trying to put the blame on Labour for blocking Red Peak.

Currently, the 1st referendum (in November) will ask kiwis to rank the now-five alternatives. The winner will then run-off against the current flag next year.
New Zealand First has opposed Red Peak being added, in line with its strong opposition to any flag change - in fact it says the design resembles markings on WWII Nazi sentry boxes!
The fact remains that if voters don't want our current flag to change, then in November they should vote for the weakest of the options, to then fight off against the existing flag.
Just don't mention ze vor!

UPDATE: 25 Sept.2015 - Gareth Morgan calls the entire issue a "$26-million dollar folly" that's completely lost the public's buy-in.

Final Four? Forget It!

The final four designs for a proposed new NZ flag were released this week...to a less-than-enthusiastic response.
The designs were revealed by the Flag Consideration Panel as a new poll shows nearly half of voters are open to a change. A small majority - 53% - do not support a change, and 23% say they do support change 'in principle'. 61% of women want to keep the current flag, compared to 44% of men.
Thousands of design submissions were narrowed down to a long-list of 40, before the final four were revealed:

Woop de doo!

Three of the designs feature the silver fern...the preference of Prime Munster John Key (who's driving this issue as hard as he can!). The 'plain black with silver fern' was not on the shortlist: Key went cold on that, after a similarity to the Islamic State flag was noted.
Now the Great Unwashed will rank the four designs in the first referendum this November. A 2nd referendum next March will pit the preferred alternative against the current flag.
Flag Minister Bill English (Wow! What a promotion!!) says there's lotsa talk about the low level of public turnout to meetings...AND the cost: two referendums + consultation = $26 million!
Prime Munster Key denies Referendum No.1 is deliberately timed to coincide with the jingoistic Rugby World Cup mood *yawn*. No! No! Of course not. Riiiiiigghhtt!!
Meanwhile, it's been revealed that one of the long-list flags was removed after a copyright claim. And BTW, the NZ Rugby Union has made it damned clear that any successful choice involving a silver fern must NOT copy the NZRU design...or else! So, battle-lines are drawn...while most kiwis yawn!
But NZers are urged not to snooze over this issue, or the Republican Attitude of Key's Cronies will sneak by under cover of apathy.

I Know What You Did Last Summer...

Three in five of us have a secret we dread others discovering!
A recent survey reveals the average person has at least one secret they've been carrying for 15 years or more!
Many of us have a skeleton in our closet, ranging from affairs or relationships, through to hidden children or even marriages. Other secrets include shoplifting as a child, or getting caught drunk-driving in the past.
The study shows people typically have two secrets hidden away – including an internet history they're not proud of, debt, sexual turn-ons and phobias they've never shared. Other secrets include hidden tattoos, poor exam grades and having to pretend to like someone.
People are most afraid of their partner discovering their secrets (though a quarter believe their other half would support them if they did find out)...but the idea of MUM finding out makes people very nervous indeed. Some 70% of respondents say they keep their secrets out of shame or embarrassment.
Others secrets appearing in the survey include real-life crushes that could never be revealed, or people hiding their real age from someone, while others confess to secrets of having had plastic surgery or being a secret smoker.
A significant majority of respondents - 70% - dread the day someone finds out the truth, while the same number are driven to keep their secrets out of shame and embarrassment.
Over a quarter say what happened is in the past and doesn't affect them now, just over a fifth keep quiet to preserve their relationship, 13% do it to save friendships, and 5% fear they would lose their job.
As for me...? Er...well...one time, at Band Camp...

Honesty Not The Best Policy?

For a New Plymouth woman, honesty doesn't always pay!
Louise Jackson noticed a mystery $429 deposit in her ANZ account recently. She rang the bank to sort it out. How hard can that be? VERY, it seems!

ANZ staff told her they could not simply reverse the transaction - they can do a trace, but that would cost Louise $15.
When she said she didn't want to pay the fee (and fair enough: why should she? SHE didn't make the mistake!), the ANZ staff member suggested she call the bank that the dosh came from, to see if it could do anything. Crazy, huh?
Now, at this point, some folk would say
"To hell with it! Finders keepers!" but Louise persevered and contacted TSB Bank, where the transaction originated...only to be told that without an account number or name to reference against, it could do nothing either. (No company name or account number showed up on Louise's online statement, just a three-letter reference code.)
Surely all that was needed was a teeny bit of effort, to compare dates and amounts, and narrow down the possible source that way...? A half-decent computer programme could do it in the blink of a bank charge hike.
But it appears banks don't like to work FOR their customers any more. However, under the spotlight of public scrutiny, they do start to squirm!
ANZ Bank spokesman Stefan Herrick acknowledges the bank does charge a small fee to trace transactions, but staff can waive it under certain circumstances: "In this case the customer shouldn't have been asked to pay a fee for doing the right thing. We applaud her honesty, and thank her for doing what she could to ensure the money went back to its rightful owner."
And surprise-surprise, the ANZ is now tracing the source of the mystery money "as a matter of priority." Quite frankly, too little too late - a weak response from both ANZ and TSB...

Paddock Porn? Or Farm Fun?

An Aussie farmer could be deep in the excrement, after some country creativity.

Bruce Cook, who owns Kaktus Point Charolais stud at Lake Charm in northwest Victoria, made a sculpture out of hay bales, depicting a cow and a bull doin' da wild thang.
Police told him to pull it down, after they received a complaint about its 'offensive' nature. Bruce built his realistic artwork for a bit of fun - he says many passersby have enjoyed his sculpture and even stopped to take photos.
He's refused to deconstruct it, and reckons he "told the copper to piss off" despite warnings that he could be charged with publishing pornographic images:

It's just business as usual...

"I'm not going to take it down unless I receive a court order."
Cook says he'll be adding fairy lights to the structure and an extra two straw calves, made out of stuffed feed bags, to complete the sculpture. He's not fazed by the complaints but doesn't understand why anyone would find it insulting.
The local Kerang Police Station has not laid any charges yet - the matter's still under investigation.
You gotta wonder what type of warped womble would find this wee bit of farm fun offensive...!
I say: GO for it, Cooky!

Anzac Day 2015

This is not glorification of war.
Not salacious lapping at spilt blood.
Not false-sounding honorifics on monument walls.
This is unmeasurable gratitude, respect and thanks...a nation-wide desire to advance and be all we can be, as some way of making the sacrifices worthwhile.

As we live and breathe, you will never be forgotten...

Kap'yong Will Never Be Forgotten

+ WHY are NZ school children taught about 'The Anzacs' as if they only fought at Gallipoli...?
+ WHY did the Korean War gradually became "the Forgotten War"...?
+ WHY do so few people know about the Battle of Kap'yong, later described by a newspaper correspondent as "some of the bloodiest and fiercest fighting ever to take place in Anzac history"...?
+ WHY does the NZ Govt STILL not commemorate this battle...?

For the surviving warriors from the Korean War (and especially those who fought at Kap'yong shoulder-to-shoulder alongside my father), I humbly thank you, and hope that wherever you may be right now, someone is affording you the comfort, kindness and gratitude that you deserve.
Bless you.

Oh, MOW You Don't!

Ohhhh, the joys of a Council blow-out!
Christchurch City Council is considering asking residents to do the very jobs that the Council is charging rates for!!
Council has reduced the maintenance frequency for over a thousand parks and reserves to save costs, and is thinking about

getting ratepayers to mow their local park or reserve instead!
Naturally the peasants are revolting!
Cr Phil Clearwater says "People already mow their berms outside their houses. It's really just an extension of that"…but adds that the brilliant brain fart has not gone further than a discussion at this stage.
Cr Pauline Cotter adds "We're not talking about the big ones" (what, y'mean like Hagley Park, for instance?) "…just pocket parks and green spaces. It wouldn't be letting the city get to rack-and-ruin. It's to try and get people to take ownership. We've all got to step up and save some money here if we want our city fixed."
Fire Service Canterbury area commander David Berry says any long grass is a potential fire risk.
The council will spend $7.3 million this financial year maintaining its parks and reserves…and that's on the REDUCED mowing schedule!
But what do ratepayers think? Not at all surprisingly, 79% of those in The Press's strawpoll say NO F***ING WAY!!!
But I'm sure there'd be plenty of qualified ratepayers prepared to help Council with its book-keeping!

A Real Love Story

A man, recently dumped by his girlfriend of four years, was browsing the web when he saw an offer he could not refuse.
No, not some sordid on-line romance! A brand-new casino site was offering new players $30 free, for a chance to win a progressive jackpot of over half a million dollars.
Carl Matthews had just lost his job, and had racked up over $9K of credit card bills he couldn't pay back. Just when he thought his life couldn't suck any harder, his girlfriend Amy Parkinson decided to call it quits...via text! A real class act...

Amy: "Carl was the sweetest guy, but I needed someone with drive, who could look after me financially and I just never saw Carl being that person."
In stepped KARMA!!!
Carls life was about to dramatically change. Those $30 that initially aroused his interest ended up multiplying for him over 10,000 times. After spinning for 14 minutes, Carl won a progressive jackpot that dropped a massive $362,259.03 into his bank account!
Curiously, Amy's feelings towards Carl quickly changed. "She started calling, texting, emailing, saying she wanted to give it another go. Saying she wanted to make it work. That she loved me, she missed me, she couldn't imagine life without me," says Carl.
Current state of play:
Carl remains single. Amy remains persistent.
Assessment:
It simply MUST be true love. Right? RIIIIIGGHHTT!!

Love Me Tinder, Love Me Do...

The word seemingly on everyone's lips right now is Tinder.
Not because of what it can potentially get you, but because of what it can potentially get you!
It's a dating app...no, let's be honest, it's a fucking app. Tinder finds your location using GPS, then uses your Facebook info to create your profile. It then finds you possible nearby matches (or "dates" if you're so naive as to call them that!).
Yeup, those on Tinder are there because they wanna get laid. NOW. If they see a pic of a potential bedmate they fancy, they swipe right (for 'like') or if they don't wanna shag 'em, they swipe left ('dislike'). Simple as that. Essentially it's "Here I am, baby. I wanna sleep with someone right now. You wanna play?"
And although sex is a basic human desire, Tinder reduces it to a mere animal action. Cut through the social circling, the get-to-know-you stage...just a quick fuck, and back onto Tinder for more not-quite-so-fresh recently-used meat! It's exactly as UrbanDictionary.com defines it: the McDonalds of sex.
However, if you reduce sex to nothing more than a Playstation-type activity, then you accept the risks involved. The major one is that by giving intimacy away so flippantly, you invite others to treat you exactly the same. You become a commodity to use, abuse and cast aside...
...or even get cast off a multi-storey tower balcony when finished with, as happened to a woman last month on Ozzie's Gold Coast, just hours after meeting a man on Tinder.
While Tinder is the platform for this 'on-call-casual-free-sex' service, it's the responsibility of the user to gauge whether hooking up with a total stranger is safe or wise.
Users who put themselves in harm's way for a fuck must be prepared to be fucked over. Need I be any more blunt?

Cashing In On Ebola

Hey, never let a large-scale health disaster get in the way of good hard-earned money scams, I say!
I notice one of the latest rip-offs to circulate into my in-box is a rewriting of the usual crap...with all the same-ol' same-ol' spelling mistakes, but with an Ebola twist:

"Hello sir /madam,
Thanks be and God richly bless you for your kind gesture in helping me out of this critical situations.
Yes i,m Peter Karu a Sierra Leone citizen from West Africa sub region of Africa.
My father and my mother has died currently from Ebola Diseases virus, and i am manage to escaped from Sierra Leone to Ghana a country alsos in West Africa.
meanwhile my late father Chief Karu was a Gold merchanter , and have his Gold delivery office in Ghana.
I want you to help to ship my late father 120 kilograms of Gold ,out of Africa as soon as possible.
meanwhile , my late father also deposited $3,2M America dollar with a private security bank company in Ghana.
I need your help quickly , so that i can continued my education.
I,m 16 years old now. and i now stay in an uncompleted house building in Ghana Africa now.
I need your help very urgently.
Thank you, your son Peter Karu "

Well, I've never slept with an African gal so Peter Karu is definitely NOT my son! How dare he get so familiar! LOL And if he WAS, his grammatical skills would be much higher than this clown's!

Further, as you'll see at this [link], young "Peter" has changed his name from "Solomon Korobo", son of "Chief Korobo".
You KNOW what these vultures are up to. Do NOT be tempted... unlike THIS gullible Australian pillick [link]!

Is Paul Henry Mentally Stable?

Ask him when he intends to RESIGN!!!

He simply cannot help himself.
Paul Henry has again highlighted the very reasons why he should not be in the media anywhere!
On Tuesday night, Michelle Dickinson - an Auckland University senior lecturer - was on Henry's show discussing the benefits of organic food. An interesting subject with an articulate intelligent person: er,

WHAT did he just ask me...?!

Michelle, NOT PH!
However, in true dickhead style, PH showed himself to be NZ tv's most puerile waste-of-space.
Michelle Dickinson had been invited by businessman Richard Branson onto his private island. So PH produced a pic of Branson hugging Dickinson and then asked: "Did you have sex with him?" True! Watch this (at approx.5:00).
It's just a shame she didn't counter with: "Have YOU?", and walk out! The fact that she DIDN'T shows she's far higher up the evolutionary ladder than the giggling idiot interviewing her.
This was not a Lewinsky/Clinton expose: why PH thought his question was funny or relevant is surely beyond the grasp of all above the mental age of 5.
So why does TV3 still employ him? Yeup - ratings, money and the guy we love-to-hate. But TV3 needs to give far wider consideration to broadcasting standards: schoolboy snigger-subjects are well below what the average tv viewer expects in adult viewing time.
So, WILL TV3/Mediaworks actually grow some balls and bitchslap Paul Henry into the back-of-beyond? Yea, right...

Air NZ's Safety Manager Helps Hijackers

You've no doubt heard of the 'curious' incident aboard Air New Zealand's Perth-Auckland flight NZ176 back in May...how two pilots were stood down after the captain didn't open the cockpit door for the co-pilot for two minutes mid-flight!

The story goes that, during the flight, the first officer left the flight deck for a widdle and had a coffee with a crew member in the galley. Air NZ's operational integrity and safety manager, Errol Burtenshaw: "Given the altitude of the flight, the captain donned his oxygen mask, as is standard procedure when one pilot exits the flight deck in a two-person flight crew." But when the first officer wanted back in, the crew member spent two minutes trying to alert the captain that his off-sider was waiting at the cockpit door. Burtenshaw says the captain failed to respond because he was approaching a navigational waypoint and his cockpit monitor showed a crew member was ringing, rather than the first officer.
Now, here's where Burtenshaw cocks up: "The first officer became concerned that the captain did not answer the calls and used an alternative entry method to gain access."
What the hell was Air NZ thinking, confirming to the world a security flaw in 777s?!! The consequences of this PR blunder, revealing that locked cockpit doors on 777s can be readily bypassed, will surely be immense. It let out a secret that the industry's been at pains not to discuss for years! The flaw directly compromises the security of the cockpit and critical electronic systems. The secret had been remarkably well kept, and with a few words, it's now blown!
Security measures will need to be put in place urgently, around the world. Well done, Errol Burtenshaw - you just earnt yourself 72 virgins in the Hereafter!

To Pea Or Not To Pea

Here's a short clip from Iron Chef America, an American cooking show on The Food Network.
The critics were delivering their thoughts on a pea-oriented dish.
But WTF???!!! WHAT did that judge say???
And what did the other judge think she said???
"There's much penis going on here, which is nice, I like it a lot..."
That's what she SAID!!!
I'll not say another word...*snort*snigger*

Who Loves Ya, Baby?

Reader's Digest has released it's NZ's Most Trusted list.
And at No.1 is combat veteran and Victoria Cross recipient, ex-SAS Corporal Willie Apiata.
No.2 is a first-timer on the list: Northland GP Dr Lance O'Sullivan. O'Sullivan was crowned New Zealander Of The Year for his healthcare work and vision of eradicating poverty-related illness. He set up Northland's first full-time, school-based health clinic, based at Kaitaia Primary School. It provides medical care to 2000 children at 14 primary and intermediate schools.

Rounding out the Top 10 are familiar faces A/B captain Richie McCaw, tv personality Judy Bailey, last year's winner ex-A/B John Kirwan, ex-tv personality Kevin Milne, ex-tv chef Alison Holst, ex-Olympic running champ Peter Snell, Olympic shot-putter Valerie Adams and tv weatherman Jim Hickey.
[Hmmm, sport and tv...what does that say about us as a nation?]
It's the tenth year Reader's Digest has held its trust survey, which ranks the people and professions NZers place their faith in.
Not surprisingly, politicians were prominent on the bottom end of the list, with Kim Dotcom at 99th. Others in the bottom 10 include David Cunliffe (97), Winston Peters (96), Russel Norman (91), and Pita Sharples (90).
The annual survey also ranks professions. Firefighters have topped the list for a decade running now, joined by paramedics, rescue volunteers, nurses, pilots, doctors, pharmacists, vets, armed forces personnel and police. Journalists are less trusted than lawyers, coming in at 43rd of the 49 total professions, despite there being many media personalities on the most-trusted people list. Politicians are up one place from last year, coming in 47th equal with sex workers (!!).
The least-liked of all professions? A tie, between door-to-door salespeople and telemarketers!

Was It THAT Difficult, Bro?

Dateline: last Wednesday.
In the NZ Parliament, the Labour Party tried to extend paid parental leave to 26 weeks. A majority vote would have got its bill a second

reading.
All it needed was the allied Maori Party MPs to fill out proxy voting forms in the affirmative. Was this too difficult?
Evidently - YES!!!
I could be charitable and say that an administrative error caused the "native representatives" to vote the wrong way.

Or I could simply ponder how hard it must have been to put a tick in the 'yes' box.
The error meant the bill was shot down unexpectedly, after National cast the Maori Party's three votes along with its own and that of ACT, which meant the bill was voted down 63-58.
The Maori Party now has permission of Parliament to have its three votes recounted in favour.
But the fact remains: tick 'yes' if in favour, tick 'no' if not in favour. How hard can it be?
Perhaps - and I muse aloud in a 'devil's advocate' manner - instead of spending $220million each year on promoting the maori language, we send those Maori Party MPs to a NZ kindergarten for a quick refresher in what 'yes' and 'no' mean in english...
It ain't hard!

Does NZ REALLY Want This...?

Finally!
New Zealanders get to vote on whether to change our national flag.
PM John Key has announced a referendum within three years, receiving the backing of the Opposition which says it'd follow through with plans, even if Key is ousted in this year's elections.
The current flag has the Southern Cross star constellation, with Britain's Union Jack in the top left.
Some whingers complain it's too similar to Aussie's flag and doesn't reflect NZ's independence from Britain. But many who've served in the military oppose a change, saying it would be an insult to men who've died under it.
Don McIver, prez of the Returned and Services Assn (RSA), said he's proud of a flag that represents more than 100 years of tradition: "RSA's view is there is no need to change the flag. 32-thousand NZers have given their lives under the flag and many more thousands have served under it in a combat environment."
Key favours a silver fern against a black background, an image that's popular among sports teams. Some say that would align NZ too much with sport and would be too reminiscent of a pirate ensign. Some argue maori should be represented in any new flag. Recent opinion polls show conflicting indications about whether a majority want a change at all!
The silver fern is the symbol of the All Blacks. But not EVERYONE in NZ is sport-mad... and anyway, doesn't the NZ Rugby Union think it owns COPYRIGHT on said fern symbol???!!! If it doesn't, then some MAORI group is bound to grab it!
Why not leave the flag as is? What's wrong with similarity to Oz? After all, both countries love to beat the ANZAC drum when it suits them!
Johnno's quick to add that a flag change won't mean an end to our constitutional ties to the monarchy or participation in the Commonwealth.
Hell no, that's worth too much money!!! And after all, when it all boils down, it's all about da money, honey...

Too PC For The PC Brigade

New Zealand Day is looming…
'cept we can’t call it that, can we.
No, the limp-dick Politically Correct bent to the minority who insisted on naming it Waitangi Day – supposedly the day that two societies combined into one happy nation. Yea. Right. These days, if you're a brown agitator, it's the day to head to Waitangi and abuse the oppressive whitey government!
Since 1999, the National Govt has recognised the distinctive black, white and red Te Tino Rangatiratanga flag as the preferred maori flag...even though there's NO SUCH THING (that particular barrow was pushed hard by Hone Harawira as an all-encompassing maori flag, even though only some North Island tribes subscribe to his theory).
On NZ Day, govt buildings thus fly the extremist flag in side-by-side "brotherhood" with the NZ flag. But Christchurch City Council is in a bind – it also wants to fly a maori flag then, but worries it may pick the wrong one and upset the local bros of Ngai Tahu.
Ngai Tahu consider "Hone’s flag" does not represent them. In fact, they say there's NO bro flag to represent all the clans within the Christchurch City Council territory. Some favour the extremists' flag, others the very old United Tribes of New Zealand flag.
If "Shakey Town" Council was to fly one flag or another, they may be open to criticism from different groups…and god knows they couldn't handle any minor PC bleatings. Not if they're trying soooooo hard to be PC themselves!
So Council will "begin a process" - how PC! - "to identify options" – really?? – "for sequencing the use of different flags from 2015".
Oh, give me strength!

Facebook: Decapitations OK To Share

On Facebook, it's ok to post decapitation videos!
Now you can post, say, a video of some poor bastard having his head sliced off by a rabid Taliban fundamentalist...as long as you write platitudes like "OMG! How terrible!"

WWII war crime.
If this happened today,
you could post it...as
long as you said "tut-tut!"

Facebook slapped on the ban last May, stopping graphic content such as beheadings and other nasties from being published. But now it's returning to its status quo, ie: not policing violent content that members share in condemnation of the depicted acts.
A spokesman says: "Facebook is where people turn to share experiences, particularly when they're connected to controversial events such as human rights abuses, acts of terrorism and other violent events. People share these videos here to condemn them. If they were being celebrated, or the actions encouraged, our approach would be different." But wait: back in May, Facebook DID take a different approach, saying it would delete violent videos reported by users (this, after a backlash when two execution videos did the rounds).
Meanwhile, Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities continues to state: "You will not post content that: is hate speech, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence." Yea. Right.
Facebook reckons graphic stuff like beheadings are only a violation of its policy...if the content is being celebrated by users!! But it's trying to figure out the best way to give people control over types of content. In the meantime...
*psst!*...wanna see a snuff movie? Um...er...it's... oh...really bad. TERRIBLE!! Check it out, dude! :-)

[This follows so soon after Facebook earlier this month effectively opened the privacy door to STALKERS!]