An End To "The Big O.E."?

For many New Zealanders, "the Big OE" was their young adult initiation into the big wide world. Their "Overseas Experience" consisted of a few years in the land of their ancestors, gaining working visa entry to Britain through parental or grand-parental links...
But, in the post-Brexit anti-immigrant panic, Britain is slamming the door on international students and foreign workers. A harsh new policy will stop overseas workers from "taking jobs British people could do", in moves that could affect kiwis and aussies wanting to live, work and study there.
Students and skilled workers from countries including NZ and OZ, foreign cab-drivers and Europeans convicted of minor crimes will all be targeted, as part of a tough stance aimed at reducing migrants to just "tens of thousands" (down from 300,000 this year).
UK Home Secretary Amber Rudd: "There's no question that recent immigration levels motivated a large part of the Brexit vote." Net migration from EU countries is 184,000, just short of the 188,000 from non-EU countries combined. Rudd says it will not be possible to reach the much lower target by curbing EU migration alone: "We have to look at all sources of immigration if we mean business."
Rudd describes as "generous" the current rules allowing working rights to the families of international students, and bemoans that foreign students studying English language degrees "don't even have to be proficient in speaking English." NZ and OZ skilled workers and uni students are in the firing line too, with the UK

considering tightening rules for companies recruiting from abroad.
Well, so much for historical ties between the Home Country and its Colonies! Obviously our loyal support in so many areas counts for naught.
But two can play. Hasn't the old battler Winston Peters – NZ First politican - constantly advocated jobs for kiwis ahead of migrants? So let's consider tightening our rules too. Maybe NZ should no longer accept Englanders as a matter of course simply because they're English, or because they cross a financial threshold. Let's face it: so many of them come here, and then moan about it being too hot, or the beer being too cold, or "Eh, by goom, it weren't like this Back Home, like…!" Ok, then maybe consider staying back home.
Britain's for the British? Have it your way - you voted for it. But forget emigrating to our beautiful land then…

The Zit-Popping Explosion

We've all had the odd zit or pimple, that we got rid of with a quick if painful squeeze in private.
But now, watching people pop zits and squeeze cysts is so popular on YouTube that the videos are getting multi-million views and turning top uploaders into celebrities!
YouTube has everything from a 2sec.clip of a zit exploding, to a 10-minute saga of pus oozing from a cyst that was so big it had its own name, George.
Other hits involve a man popping a 20-year-zit on the back of his neck and one labelled 'Best pimple pop ever' which has 30 million views and an introduction like a blockbuster movie!
These videos are so POP-ular that you can get paid for your popping footage - yeup, US$20 (NZ$26) from Pop That Zit! Pop That Zit details five types of zit-poppers...including OPZPs (other people's zit-poppers) who fantasise about squeezing pus out of other people. Baaarrrfff!!!
This fad has created celebrities such as Dr Vikram Yadav, whose video of popping nose blackheads has been viewed 15 million times. Its four sequels amassed another 50 million views.
So why are these videos so popular? According to Daniel Kelly, a Purdue Uni professor, it's because we get to experience something yucky or maybe dangerous without suffering the painful effects. Viewers commenting on the videos often say they're "satisfying". The videos hold a similar attraction to horror movies: no-one wants to be a victim of a crazed killer but many love to watch others suffer.
Nupe - not buying into this. It's just plain SICK!!! Use some Clearasil, kids...or better still, try washing your damn faces like mum said!

Stand Tall, Christchurch!

Giraffes are roaming through Christchurch and beyond.

This one's in Kaiapoi

"Christchurch Stand Tall" is a mass-appeal public art project organised by UK organisation, Wild in Art.
More than fifty 2.5m fibreglass giraffes have been painted and decorated by local artists and planted in parks, streets and open spaces. Christchurch schools have decorated another 50 baby giraffes, and the detail that has been put into the decorating is quite

Such detail!

impressive!
Wild in Art has produced several other public displays around the world. Liverpool (UK) had penguins, Sydney had rhinos and Bristol hosted Gromits - from Wallace and Gromit.
The multi-coloured giraffes will be on display over summer and then auctioned off, with proceeds going to charities.

There Shalt Be No Happiness In Iran



Having FUN???!!! How despicable!!!

Six Iranian youths, arrested for video-dancing to Pharrell Williams' song Happy, have been sentenced to up to a year in prison and 91 lashes!
The homemade video (filmed mainly on iPhones) shows three men and three *shock! horror!* unveiled women dancing on the streets and rooftops of Tehran. In six months, it had over a million views on YouTube.
The Happy We Are From Tehran clip was spotted by Iranian "morality" authorities, and the group was nabbed for violating oppressive Islamic laws, which prohibit dancing with members of the opposite sex, and women from appearing without a headscarf. They obviously also broke a secret law about being happy! The Thought Police said their "vulgar clip" had "hurt public chastity". Riiiiiight.
The majority of those in the video were sentenced to 6mths' jail, with one member given a year. However the draconian sentences have been suspended for three years, meaning they will not go to prison if they don't re-offend. But hey - no pressure!

The arrests drew global condemnation and sparked a social media campaign calling for their release. Pharrell Williams also protested at the arrests on Facebook: "It's beyond sad that these kids were arrested for trying to spread happiness." His song has inspired over a thousand tribute remakes since it was released last year on the Despicable Me 2 soundtrack.
Supporters were quick to quote Iranian President Hassan Rouhani from a public speech he made in June 2013: "Happiness is our people's right. We shouldn't be too hard on behaviours caused by joy."
He obviously speaks the same BS as his predeccessor!

Is Your Brain In Your DICK???

If you thought watching porn could make you go blind, think again.
A new German study says that porn may have adverse effects on your brain!
Researchers say men who watch a lot of porn usually have smaller striatum (that's the area of the brain linked to motivation and rewards). The connection between the striatum and the prefrontal cortex (responsible for behaviour and decision-making) also decreases when watching increased amounts of porn.

As well as possible brain shrinkage, a lot of porn also makes it difficult for people to become aroused by their own sexual partners, there are potency problems, and some become bored by mainstream porn and seek more extremes.
A survey by the University of East London said 97% of boys aged 16-20 have viewed porn, and girls of the same age: 80%. One in three women regularly watches porn, and 70% of men 18-24 visit porn sites at least once a month.
There's a significant number of students, boys in particular, for whom it is quite a frequent behaviour. At that age, they're still developing their sexuality, their ideas of what's normal in sex, and ideas of what's appropriate in relationships. Heavy exposure to pornography can be problematic in all of these areas.
So the nuns were right - pornography DOES sink the brain! Mind you, perhaps those with smaller brains are more attracted to porn. And, if their brains are in their dicks, they may be very very small brains indeed...

Mt Hutt - Read The Bloody Forecast!!!

It's happened again!
More than 300 people, including 240 college students, were stranded on Mt Hutt last Wednesday by bad weather.

...as reported on TV One

Staff closed the mountain late Wednesday morning when the weather deteriorated. Ski area manager James McKenzie says snow and wind reduced visibility so much they were forced to close the access road completely by noon. Workers were setting off explosives above the road to try to clear snow, so vehicles could leave safely. They checked conditions regularly until the snow and wind died down, allowing them to escort the stranded 316 off the mountain at about 2am Thursday.
A party of 270 Mt Hutt College students, staff and parents on an annual ski trip were among those stuck on the mountain.They hunkered down at the skifield cafe until the road cleared.
Parents vented their frustration on Facebook, calling the road closure predictable, and querying why the school went ahead with the trip when bad weather was forecast. The MetService had been warning of this short savage snap for several days...
[You may recall, in the winter of 2010, about 1200 were stranded up Mt Hutt by hurricane-force winds. The lousy storm had been forecast for days, yet still people were trapped - and questions were raised then! This seems a carbon-copy situation.]
Do they not read the weather forecasts up at Mt Hutt skifield? I get that $$$ is a driver, but that skifield should not have opened at all that day. Egress problems should have been anticipated, and thus easily negated, by simply keeping the gates closed!
Does no-one check the forecasts down at Mt Hutt College? Staff have a monstrous-sized duty of care, and that trip should never have gone up. These staff live near Mt Hutt, so (in theory) understand alpine weather. Perhaps they need a refresher in 'Weather Map Reading:101'!
Just what WERE they all thinking?! Evidently, very little.

Explaining Twerking to Your Parents

Every teenager dreads the day when your parents come to you, innocently asking: "What's twerking?"

Can public twerking make you go blind?

Remember: it's far better for you to explain, than for them to learn on their own by searching YouTube.
So...a critical first step is to acknowledge that twerking is a normal part of life and there's nothing shameful in their questions. They’re parents, after all and...well...they're curious.
Explain that twerking is a dance move typically associated with lower-income African-American women, involving the rapid gyration of the hips in a fashion that prominently exhibits the elasticity of the gluteal musculature. They'll be puzzled why Miley Cyrus, who is white and wealthy, does it at every opportunity. Patiently respond that, for Ms. Cyrus, twerking is a brazenly cynical act of cultural appropriation being passed off as a rebellious reclamation of her sexuality after a childhood in the Disney-fied spotlight.
Upon hearing what twerking is, it's natural for your parents to want to experiment with it. They may even proudly announce, "Look at us, we're twerking!" not recognizing the inappropriateness of their actions and words. Try to resist the urge to chastise them; doing so will only increase their desire to twerk in defiance, perhaps in private.
It's also possible that your parents may suggest twerking at their next dinner party. Adopt a strict no-tolerance policy for group twerking unless you're there to supervise, other parents' children are warned beforehand and have given permission, and everyone in attendance is invited to participate.

Perfect Egg Just A Pre-Packaged Purchase Away

You'd have to be pretty stupid not to be able to boil an egg.
(Saying that, I met someone just last week who, at the oh-so-adult age of 20, had just accomplished her very first egg-boil. Yes, I too was stunned!)
So, if boiling a pan of water, dropping in an egg and timing it for a few minutes seems far too complicated, your ship has just come in! The Dippy Egg is about to hit UK supermarket shelves, apparently designed for those too inept to create a perfect runny yolk.
The Dippy Egg - a single pasteurised egg in its shell - is pre-boiled in an airtight plastic bag to just the right consistency, before being sold in a plastic pot. All the hungry (lazy?) consumer has to do is remove it from it's plastic bag, put it back in the pot, pour on boiled water, replace the lid and wait five minutes (clue: it's as easy as opening a packet of 'instant noodles', ok?).
When the egg's ready, it can be eaten from the lid, which doubles as an egg cup. And joy of joys, even if left in hot water in its pot for longer than five minutes while you're busy Facebooking your achievement to your 3,571 friends, the yolk will still not set. A blessed miracle!!
Of course, for a REAL challenge, the adventurous could boldly learn how to boil an egg from scratch themselves.
*whisper* The trick is...don't burn the water first!!!

Facebook: More Friends, Less Love

We may feel more connected online, but Facebook might not be our friend.
TVNZ reports that a new study shows the more people use Facebook, the less we 'feel the love'. Social scientists at the University of Michigan found, although using the social media site helped people to feel more connected, it did not make them happier.

Social psychologist Ethan Kross: "On the surface, Facebook provides a valuable resource for fulfilling the basic human need for social connection. But rather than enhance well-being, we found that Facebook use predicts the opposite result - it undermines it."
The study of 82 young adults found the more time people spent on Facebook during the day, the worse they reported feeling. Participants were texted randomly five times a day for a fortnight, with a link to an online survey. Questions included how worried and lonely they felt, how much they used Facebook, and how much direct contact with people they'd had since the previous text.
Life satisfaction was tested at the beginning and end of the study. Those who'd spent more time on Facebook had declining happiness levels. Conversely, more direct interactions (either face-to-face, or over the phone) led people to feel better.

Gee, what a revelation! Mum was right all along!!!
Background:
The latest Nielsen research shows 80% of New Zealanders use Facebook, higher than Australia (74%), the US (69%) and UK (68%).

BK Bun Bed

A Burger King worker in Japan has lost his job after he posted a photo of himself lounging around on a pile of buns!

Yes, I AM a dick!

BK apologised after the idiot employee tweeted the picture - which spread around the world. It said the buns were later disposed of, not served up. The same (now-closed) Twitter account also showed a pic of Idiot Boy sitting in a restaurant bin.
The newly-unemployed pillick joins a long list of former (obviously 'maturity-challenged') employees, fired after being hoisted on their own pittards. For example, just last week a Subway staff member was fired after posting a pic online of his genitals on top of a foot-long sub (and before you speculate, he'd placed himself widthwise, not lengthwise!!). Earlier this year a KFC worker was sacked when a photo of her licking a pile of mashed potatoes went viral. And a Russian flight attendant lost her job over a snap showing "the bird" being given to a planeload of passengers.

...and so am I!

As mentioned many times before, social media users must be aware that once a posting is made, it can not be retracted. It's "out there" for all to see - often the more stupid the photo or comment, the faster it'll spread. It may (???) seem clever to flop your dick onto a bread roll, but do you really think that'll stay private? (Intended pun!) Or tweeting you're having a great time at Big Day Out when your boss thinks you're actually home sick... duuhh!!!
Meanwhile, could someone please investigate the contents of the bucket on the right-hand side of that bun-bed photo! WTF?!!!

U-Boat Sinks

TVNZ is finally pulling the plug on its youth channel.
TVNZ U closes at the end of August and its frequency will carry a time-shifted version of TV2.
TVNZ said it's made a commercial decision to take the free-to-air channel down after two years of running at a loss.
CEO Kevin Kenrick: "Despite our best efforts, we've not been able to make it work financially. As it is, the channel is a very lean operation and no significant savings can be made to address the shortfall."
TVNZ plans to launch TV2+1 on the vacated frequency on Sept.01 - an exact duplicate of TV2, broadcast an hour later. Time-shifted TV has proved to be popular with viewers.
Quite WHY it has taken two years for TVNZ to reach this decision is beyond me. Time and time again, youth-targeted programming has shown it struggles to generate revenue. Jeans and bubblegum just don't bring in the large sums of dosh needed to run such an operation. And forced exurberance in the name of teen entertainment became painful a very long time back...
No-one should be at all surprised that the U-boat sank. It was aimed at the 15-24yr.olds, featuring reality and factual entertainment programming, on Freeview Channel 6 and SKY Channel 016, but the internet is the first option for many young people. So how many actually watched U? It has over 60,000 likes on its Facebook page (woop-de-doo), but again, how many viewers? Weeeeeell, U doesn't actually know. TVNZ U brand manager Cindy Carleton: "We don't get specific ratings for U because its audience is small." Riiiiiiight.

Maori: Precious Only To The Few

Do we? Really??

Last Saturday's editorial in The Press rode the coat-tails of Maori Language Week… and called for all children to learn the maori language at school!
It mounted the same old soapboxes used for years in this dull debate:
   "Maori has been an official language since 1987, yet we are a long way from embracing it. Some other countries have bilingual road signs; we generally do not. The current debate around whether the North and South Islands should also be called (maori names) is…controversial. Promoting and advancing the cause of te reo maori in this piecemeal way is likely to be slow and...factional." 
The editorial did not tackle WHY there's a general reluctance to wholeheartedly immerse the nation in maoritanga, or why – after $220million is spent annually to prop it up! YES! -  maori language usage is in steady decline.
   "Radio greetings, road signs, changing place names, and even Maori Language Week pronunciation campaigns can be seen as tokenism. None of them, individually, seriously advances the cause of the maori language. All of them together sometimes provoke carping and moaning …"
Like many white NZers, I have no issue with children learning maori history and culture at school…as long as it is evenly balanced with education about myriad other cultures that have shaped the world and impacted on our little corner of it. The maori viewpoint is not the ONLY viewpoint, and maori culture is NOT New Zealand culture – it is PART OF New Zealand culture (a point the PC Brigade dodges).

Last Call At Historic Dunedin Bar

As iconic as Auckland's Gluepot Tavern, so too is Dunedin's Captain Cook Tavern.
Every student of Otago University will have solid memories of that venue. But the historic pub, which first opened in 1860, closes its doors tonight, after the bar's owners and DB Breweries gave up the lease.
No one's taken over the lease, and the University says it won't be buying the pub, even though the Otago University Students' Assn (OUSA) wanted to save it and retain it as a student pub. OUSA Prez Francisco Hernandez: "A lot of students live in this area (close to the tavern), and students are a lot safer going to a bar where they live, compared to going all the way to the Octagon, which isn't safe on some nights."
Former students took over the bar's lease about nine years ago. The pub's a student institution, but has come under increased scrutiny from licensing authorities and the police.
Dunedin's already lost two other student bars. Otago Uni bought The Bowler in 2009 and converted it into teaching spaces. A year later it also bought and closed down The Gardies to make way for a study centre.
The owners of the Captain Cook building hope to attract a new operator to continue its legacy. Meanwhile they say a notice given to DB Breweries (which led to the building closing earlier than planned) was not a notice to vacate. It was given because the company considered the lease had been breached, as the building had been deteriorating. A lease condition was to keep the building in ''excellent working order'' and, if DB did not bring the building up to scratch, the owners would consider chasing it for the cost of any work that needed to be done. DB said it was unable to comment because legal proceedings were under way...

Which Hairstyle Shall I Eat Today?

Japanese teenagers seem unafraid of pushing fashion boundaries outside the norm. Either that, or they have no fashion sense at all!
Could this be Japan's most ridiculous craze yet?
A Japanese hair salon is rewriting the meaning of 'cutting edge' after being inspired...by the humble tomato.
This innovative design is already spreading across the internet.
Stylist Hiro says the hairdo, called 'Ripe Tomatoes' or kanjuku tomato in Japanese, is his masterpiece.
Sections of hair have been dyed green to look like the stalk, while the rest is bright tomato red. The look involves cutting the hair into a rounded crop before dying it bright red. Sections from the crown are then shaped and coloured green to resemble a tomato's stalk.
However, just like the fruit, the style has a shelf life. The colours fade quickly and the 'leaves' are difficult to reshape after being washed.
'Ripe Tomatoes' is one of a raft of bold designs to emerge from the Osaka salon Trick Store, which also came up with these creations including a half-ladybird style, animal print, and dyed pink numbers shaved into the back of the head. Ooooo, that's so ME!! Riiiiigghhtt...

Learner Drivers Piss Off The Govt

Yea, yea, yea, blah, blah, blah...
Party tonight! Take the girls out!

The NZ Government is about to crack down on drivers who fail to progress from a learner licence to a full licence.
Assoc.Transport Minister Simon Bridges has labelled learner and restricted drivers "complacent", saying they "lacked respect" for the conditions of their licences. He says too many novice drivers are failing to show they're capable drivers by progressing to a full licence.
The current 10yr.life of learner and restricted licences will be reduced to five years, so that progressing to a full licence will not be seen as 'optional'. At the moment, nearly 40% of learner drivers and 32% of restricted drivers have their licences for more than six years.
Bridges says the current law never intended drivers to stay on learner and restricted licences indefinitely: "What these drivers need to do is demonstrate their skills and competence and graduate to a full licence in a reasonable time." He says motorists who linger on their learner or restricted licences are responsible for a large proportion of driving infringements, such as carrying unauthorised passengers, driving alone at night or failing to display "L" plates. Around 70% of learner licence breaches are from drivers who've had their licence for more than two years.
Changes to the life-span of learner and restricted licences will come into effect by 2015.
Factoids:
70% of learner licences held for more than 2yrs.
37% of learner licences held for more than 6yrs.
56% of restricted licences held for more than 3yrs.
32% of restricted licences held for more than 6yrs.

How Gay He Doth Speaketh

Our prime minister is vying with Prince Philip for the title of Prize Pillick.
Twice in a week, John Key opened his mouth and fell into a yawning chasm. Last Friday, he told some students that ex-Manchester United football star David Beckham was as "thick as batshit"! The comment raised the ire of such high-quality UK rags as The Mirror...
So Johnno, did you really say that? "Someone thinks they overhead a conversation I had. I'm not going to engage in that, because otherwise I am going to engage in every conversation someone thinks I had." But did you call Beckham thick? "No, what I'm saying is that somebody has overheard a personal conversation and that's their recollection of it."
Beckham's brainpower's been questioned before - via his own lips:
"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven."
Are you a volatile player? "Well, I can play in the centre, on the right, and occasionally on the left side." On faith: "We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened but we don't know into which religion." And let's not forget, he also married 'Scrawny Spice', so it's fair to say Beckham's not the brightest star in the galaxy...however he does play for LA Galaxy and has over NZ$300 million (while NBR lists JK as worth a mere $50m)!

JK takes one for the 'gay' team?

But wait: there's more! Johnno's second fox-pass involved...clothing! Yes, with all the world's other issues, its rotation stopped because the Prime Munster said a radio host's shirt was a "gay red top".
Key defended his verbage, saying it meant 'weird': "Young people use it all the time. I don't think many people would be offended by it."
Of course, prior to it becoming an idiom for 'odd', and after it meant 'happy', 'gay' was associated with being...er...gay! Thus, into the One Ring charges Gandalf the Gay Grey - English Lord Of The Rings/Hobbit wizard actor Sir Ian McKellen who is himself...er...'happy'. He says the PM should watch his language: "I'm currently touring schools in the UK attacking homophobia and discouraging kids from the careless use of 'gay', which might make their gay friends and teachers feel less about themselves. I do hope Key appreciates their concern. Careless talk damages lives." So have I got this right? This Knight of The Realm is saying gay people would have their lives damaged if their friends called them gay? How 'weird' is that! How precioussssssssssssssssss!
Green Party MP Kevin Hague (also 'happy') says gay NZers don't take too kindly to being called 'weird'. "The basis for the comment is in homophobia...with all of those negative traits of being hopeless, awful, terrible, useless." Hmmm, so let's see - 'happy' folk can call each other 'faggot', 'twink', 'queer', 'dyke', 'troll', 'bear', 'fairy', 'queen'...but others can't use the idiom 'gay'? Wow, methinx someone has an inferiority complex!
While an adult using the teenage idiom 'gay' to mean 'weird' needs to stay in his own demographic - where there's already the word 'weird' to mean 'weird' (as well as creepy, flaky, outlandish, curious, strange, peculiar etc etc) - I also feel there's a helluva lot more for the world to worry about, than the PM's flippancies - 'happy' or not!
Update: And just to add more 'weirdness' to the mix, this Friday 9th. has been declared Gay Red Shirt Day, by some parents on Facebook, who say that just because a definition is in the dictionary doesn't make it acceptable: "We want to destigmatise the word 'gay'. As parents of children who may or may not be gay, we're standing up for their future." Very preciousssssssssssssssss INDEED!

PS: 21 Nov.2012 - PM goes "gay" at meeting in Cambodia...

Students Are There To Learn

The clash between students and police in Auckland's CBD on Friday was...illuminating, to say the least.

Behavioural Science:101???

A protest over budget cuts got way outta control. Students barged into SkyCity casino, chanting "fuck the casino", as staff tried to remove them. Protesters yelled "free all political prisoners" outside the Central police station (wasn't aware we had any political prisoners): some officers were wrestled to the ground amidst jeering crowds. Then the future leaders of our country sat on Queen Street blocking traffic, chanting: "Bill English, we're all Greeks" (after earlier student protests, Finance Minister English had said they "need some Greeks to show them how to do it". The chant was a response to that flippancy: no complaints from the Greek Govt yet).

Everyone blames their parents.

The Blockade the Budget protests come after the Govt outlined changes to student loans. One protester moaned: "We planned a peaceful protest... we were going to rise above English's incitement to riot." (incitement to riot??!!) "But now the police've attacked people. They're the destructive party in all of this." Oh, grow up! As oft happens in large groups of immature sheep youth, the 'mob mentality' took over. The 43 arrests were a direct consequence...
So, let's analyse this, like good students should: this was a Blockade the Budget protest, right? But students chanted at the Central police station: "free all political prisoners". They chanted at SkyCity: "fuck the casino", and chanted in Queen St.: "We're all Greeks". See a pattern? Shades of the Occupy Wall Street protests - many agendas; everyone bitching about something but no cohesion, just a rabble. Likewise Friday had no coherant focus, just an intention to disrupt, be anti-social and juvenile pains-in-the-arse!
Sure, cutbacks do hurt - ask any working family. Life ain't easy right now. But during my recent uni studies, I found lots of students thought their degree would instantly deliver a 250K job!
Welcome to reality. Students aren't forced to go to university. They voluntarily choose to further their education. Obviously many of them have not learnt a damn thing yet.

04 June 2012 - Interesting post on The Standard, advising students to pick their battles very very carefully indeed...
05 June 2012 - Alf Grumble ponders students' ability to string together a coherent press release.

Text-Speak:101 - YOLO

Have you done this?
In our uninformed past, after receiving a sad text, we replied LOL, thinking we were sending lots of love...only to discover later how hurt our friend was when, having told us about their cat's death, we'd sent back laughing out loud!
Just when we 'of a certain age' (ie: from an era when we actually said what we meant, not communicated in abbrev!) thought we'd got a good grasp on text-speak, along comes another...YOLO.
No, it's not low-fat yoghurt. It means you only live once and comes from young black communities in the US. Its used as a verb for doing something badass, something that takes balls, or something a person wouldn't do in a normal day. Similar to you've only got one chance to live or enjoy it while you can, people use it to persuade their friends to take risks or dare them to do something.
The phrase has been around for eons - the 007 movie title You Only Live Twice (1967) was a play on it - but this shortened version YOLO has got popular since appearing late last year in a US rap song.

Why did no-one
buy these?

As with most of these acronyms, there're multiple meanings, such as:
You Obviously Lack Originality...You Obey Lord's Objectives (that's for all the hip God-Botherers)...and YOLO is also San Francisco Bay area slang for cocaine!
California has a county called Yolo, where many residents are amused that their area's name is hip. They find it hilarious that beautiful people in New York might wear shirts saying YOLO in giant letters. In fashionable Brooklyn boutiques, track jackets reading YOLO sell for US$100, but in Yolo County, the locals have no special reason to have any great civic pride. In fact their Chamber of Commerce lost thousands on a run of Yolo County tee-shirts that failed to spark any consumer interest!
Maybe they could dust 'em off and sell 'em in the Big Apple.
After all...YOLO!

Die On Your Feet? Or Live On Your Knees?

Recently Aussie schoolboy Casey Haynes turned the tables after three years of being bullied: he snapped and slammed the bully into the ground. The cellphone clip went viral...
And last week here in NZ, a 15-year-old schoolgirl was savagely attacked, after she told her deputy principal that her attacker had threatened to stab her. Wanganui Girls College student Robin de Jong suffered 24 punches and a head stomping. The vicious beating was captured on cellphone...
With schools hog-tied by mamby-pamby PC "rules of engagement", there's little they can do to halt the escalating tide of school violence. Indeed some schoolkids, harassed by bullying, have even been driven to suicide.
Some folk maintain "Never back down to a bully" (easy to say, when you're not the kid getting beaten up daily), while others criticise the adulation of the Casey Haynes' video.
A possible solution: reinstate corporal punishment in schools. For those who grew up without experiencing this, a quick thumbsketch: corporal punishment was official punishment for misbehaviour. It involved striking the student across the buttocks, legs or hands with a cane or a leather strap. This was often in full view of classmates, for humiliation and as an example. Parents who sent kids to such a school did so with full knowledge and consent of the system. Supporters argue it gives an immediate response to indiscipline and that the student is back in class rather than being suspended. Opponents believe other disciplinary methods are more effective. Some regard it as tantamount to abuse. It was banned in NZ by the Education Amendment Act 1990.
There is no denying school violence is growing alarmingly. The sort of behaviour associated with US schools - assaults on teachers, knife and pistol attacks - is now permeating our schools.
As these attacks grow, so does support for corporal punishment. In March 2010, a Curia Market Research poll asked 1,000 people: "Do you think a school should be able to choose to use corporal punishment, if the Board, Parents and Principal wish to have this as an option for school discipline?" 50% responded yes, 44% said no, and 6% didn’t know. I'm sure support for its return has grown by now.
I was strapped in primary school, and caned in high school for infractions. I was also bullied in high school and told to just "tough it out". I didn't turn into a violent sociopath. I haven't dissected neighbours' cats live. But I do believe in law, rules to obey, lines to be toed - if corporal punishment is the only system that can restore safety and order to our schools, then bring it back.
Kids should return from school each day with knowledge, not bruises! For those who say other methods are more effective, please show me some proof. Right now, I'm nowhere near being convinced...
PS: 29 March 2011 - PM tells schools to take action against bullies.
PS: 01 April 2011 - ...and so it continues...

Recycling Incentives

In the 'good old days', we kids used to make pocket money by collecting empty soft drink bottles, taking them to the local dairy and getting the refund money. In the '70s, it was 4c per bottle - a princely sum!
The budding capitalist in me saw a golden opportunity to make even more dosh: instead of scanning gutters and footpaths for empties, I went directly to The Source! I'd seen that the railway station cafe had an unlocked rear yard, where crates of returned empties were stacked. So I'd head there on the way home from school, fill my panniers with a dozen bottles or so, nonchalantly take them into the cafe and head home feeling quite rich! Yeup, I'll rot in hell for that misdemeanour!
The point I'm making is that these days there's little incentive for recycling. We shouldn't actually need an incentive but, unless users are kindly disposed towards Mother Nature, bottles and cans are often either thrown in a bin or simply dropped where they're used. The idea is get these bottles and cans back into the recycling loop, not buried in a landfill...
I notice in Sth Australia, a 10c refund is offered for return of V cans. Thanks for that, Frucor ! But why is this in only one state of Oz, and why it doesn't happen in New Zealand too?
Ok, so kids today may not give a rat's arse about 10c but, in bulk, cash-strapped schools and charities might...and any help to get cans and bottles off our streets is surely worth considering.
Any chance of expanding this scheme, Frucor?