Be Careful What You Drink, Bro

This'll either have you sniggering derisively or shaking your head in disbelief...
yesterday, maori claimed they own all the water in NZ! I kid you not.
The NZ Maori Council lodged a claim with the Waitangi Tribunal over maori ownership rights to water. It's clearly a delaying tactic against the govt's plan to sell state-owned assets... but all it's done is make those involved look pretty damn stupid!
Water is obviously essential for running the four state-owned energy companies that're ear-marked for sale. But Maanu Paul of the council says water is a commodity Maori own and have the right to develop:
"We want the tribunal and all the courts to look at the question - if Maori did not have their ownership removed, where would Maori be with these assets?"
Probably laughing all the way to the bank, Maanu...just like the whole country would be, if its advancement wasn't constantly hindered by timewasting like this!
A Waitangi Tribunal ruling is not binding on the govt., so why are the bros even bothering? Obviously from the various Treaty settlements, there's plenty of money to burn on legal fees...

Um...er...can I get
back to you on that?

PM John Key says the claim's unnecessary and it won't slow the flow. He rightly says water does not belong to anyone. However new Labour leader David Shearer can't make up his mind on the matter: "I have no understanding of their claim until it goes to court. I can't tell if it's legitimate or not." Sorry, David? You can't tell if this farce is legitimate or not? A man in a coma could figure this one out! Hmmm, a man in a coma could also tell David why his party's in opposition for another term...
Meantime, guzzle that water, boys and girls - it's all yours...for NOW! Wonder if the bros will also demand a percentage from the sales of imported bottled water at the same time? That too is "water in New Zealand"...let's face it: if we're talking 'ridiculous claims', we may as well go the whole hog!