Tuesday, September 17, 2013

North Korea: Ski-field Miracle

Fat Boy Kim Jong-un is obviously Da Man!
He's moving heaven and earth to build a top-of-the-line ski slope, despite global sanctions... and his starving populace.
The North Korean dictator leader spent some teenage years in Switzerland, and learnt winter sports there. He's promised that 'ski fever' will grip the country in 2014.
He's building 110km of ski slopes, a heliport and hotel in the Masik mountains in the SE of N.Korea. Eight slopes are already marked out - now all that's missing are the ski lifts.
North Korea ordered a chairlift and cable car from a Swiss company, in a US$7.6 million deal. But that was blocked by UN sanctions, which added "luxury sporting facilities" (including ski resorts) to the list of products banned from being sent to DPRK. The North Koreans were ever-so-slightly pissed: they'd pinned their last hopes of obtaining high-quality equipment (vital to secure the deluge of international tourists they're expecting) on Swiss neutrality. And let's not forget the 2018 Winter Olympics are being held just across the border in Sth.Korea. *Piste! Don't mention that!*
Not to be defeated, the glorious DPRK military's rolled up its sleeves. Where inferior force might take a decade to build the Masik Pass Skiing Ground, the official Korea Central News Agency raves that this "gigantic patriotic work" will be completed within a year, thanks to the army construction squads "waging an all-out charge and death-defying drive as intended by the Worker's Party of Korea, by dint of indomitable mental power and persevering charge."
Whatever would they
do without him?
Thankfully, the Divine Inspiration himself is there to tell 'em how to properly build a drainage system, and to offer advice on the production of skis and other gear.
The jingistic state newspaper Rodong Sinmun remarks on the "miracle" of the construction, the fruit of "world-startling labour feats." Bless.
The soldiers constructing the field are "ready to flatten any mountain and empty even a sea in response to an order of the party." Go, go, socialism!!! "The ski resort is a monumental edifice of eternal value to be used by the people even in the distant future, while enjoying wealth and prosperity under socialism, and it is also one of the icons of a highly civilised nation...(Fat Boy) called on the builders to...provide the people with more civilised and happier living conditions so that cheerful laughter under socialism and loud shouts of hurrah for the WPK may be heard from the area of Masik Pass." Riiiiight. Three cheers for Fat Boy!

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