Jack Sparrow, Beware!

I had a cynical wee chuckle when I read "The NZ meat and shipping industries are welcoming news that the Government is considering being part of an international task force to tackle piracy off the coast of Africa."
Seems the United Nations has asked us for a frigate, to take part in piracy patrols off Somalia and Yemen.

Run! The NZ Navy is coming!!!

Yippee, say the Meat Industry Assn and the NZ Shippers Council - almost 100% of our meat exports are transported by sea so security is crucial, and deployment of a frigate could protect exports.
But hang about: most NZ cargo to Europe is shipped via the Horn of Africa! Are they really talking about physically protecting exports (that don't go anywhere near the danger zone?), or do they actually mean protecting their buddy-buddy export wheelings and dealings with European countries?
Ahhhhhhhhh, money talks...again! But obviously it doesn't talk too fast, as no decision will be made for about six weeks. That'll give those pesky pirates plenty of time to piss in their seaboots, over the

Te Mana - this one DOES work!

imminent arrival of the mighty Noo Zuld Navy!!!
Ah well, at least we won't be embarrassed by our naval vessels breaking down five minutes out of port: they'll send either HMNZS Te Kaha or HMNZS Te Mana - real tried-and-tested warships, not like those pathetic new arrivals HMNZS Otago and her sister ship(wreck) HMNZS Wellington, that have spent more time in the repair shop than actually doing their jobs.
God help those two if they have to scoot down into the Ross Sea, to sort out fisticuffs between whalers and protestors: they'd end up being towed home by a Japanese harpoon boat!