Saturday, March 1, 2014

True Love Bursts Forth...?

Japanese designers have created a bra that unclasps itself when a woman's heartbeat rises!
The logic is that, when the heart beats faster, it surely means she's 'in love' and ready for sex.
The bra has an electronic front clasp that automatically unhooks only when it detects that its wearer is in 'true love'. How does it do this (when even humans have difficulty figuring it out at times)? Well, an in-built sensor detects a rise in her heart beat and sends it to a Bluetooth app for analysis, which calculates the True Love Rate (TLR) based on changes in the heart rate over time.
When the TLR exceeds a certain value, the bra unhooks automatically and the woman is ready to get physical with her true love. If your heartbeat doesn't rise, it doesn't unlock. Riiiiiight... but a few points the designers've overlooked:
1. What if the woman doesn't want to unleash her breasts on the man who makes her heart rise? Perhaps she'd like to use her brain to decide whether she wants to undress, instead of relying on an app to do it for her.
2. What if the TLR gets it wrong? The poor woman's heart may be racing with nerves during a job interview...pop goes the weasel! Or while running for the bus...or giving a work presentation...or finding a colleague has brought in a surprise birthday cake. Removing one's bra at this point would be less than appropriate!
3. What if the bra-wearer never finds her true love? Is she stuck in the bra for life? How will she take it off at night without a lover by her side? Does she have to watch stud muffins on repeat to lift her heart rate each evening, or will the bra drop off in pity after 24 hours without a high TLR score?
Hmmm...can't see this latest nutty Nippon invention being anything more than a 'party trick'!

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