Roll One For Me

Well, the story was probably accurate...
but the headline was ever-so-slightly off the mark!
The sub on-duty at the Toronto Star that day back in 1996, was no doubt the butt of doobie jokes for months to come!

Angel Or Demon?

A transgender woman, whose family sparked an outpouring of sympathy online when they claimed she'd been bashed...actually injured herself after falling from a tree!

Angel singlehandedly proves
Newton's gravity theory: cheers!

Police said Anahera "Angel" Rangitaawa was found near the Copthorne Hotel in Palmerston North early last Sunday. At first they couldn't explain the critical injuries to her face, skull and other parts of her body. She was taken to Wellington Hospital and placed in an induced coma.
Her aunt, Esther Topfer, made an incredible accusation on-line that she'd been the victim of a targeted assault and even suggested Palm.Nth. was the 'transbash capital of NZ.'
Police could not confirm how she reached that assumption, but Auntie Esther was specific enough to claim THREE men did the deed: "I am saddened and appalled that, in the 21st Century, ignorant judgmental and evil people can smash a person to within an inch of their life for being who they are." This encouraged a surge of spleen-venting on Facebook, as well as accusations of police of not doing their job properly.
Investigations now show the victim's injuries were not at all suspicious, and that she fell from a tree!
That's right, auntie, "who they are" is nothing more than a klutz who fell out of a tree in the middle of the night! Perhaps you should ask your precious Angel exactly what the hell she was doing, before slinging mud!!
Obviously Auntie Esther is carrying a monstrous chip on her shoulder regarding society's views of transgenders. Why else would she verbally run rabid with such unsubstantiated accusations?
I suggest a slice of humble pie with a side of 'get-over-it' to accompany her 'angel'-cake dessert tonight.

To Pea Or Not To Pea

Here's a short clip from Iron Chef America, an American cooking show on The Food Network.
The critics were delivering their thoughts on a pea-oriented dish.
But WTF???!!! WHAT did that judge say???
And what did the other judge think she said???
"There's much penis going on here, which is nice, I like it a lot..."
That's what she SAID!!!
I'll not say another word...*snort*snigger*

Who Loves Ya, Baby?

Reader's Digest has released it's NZ's Most Trusted list.
And at No.1 is combat veteran and Victoria Cross recipient, ex-SAS Corporal Willie Apiata.
No.2 is a first-timer on the list: Northland GP Dr Lance O'Sullivan. O'Sullivan was crowned New Zealander Of The Year for his healthcare work and vision of eradicating poverty-related illness. He set up Northland's first full-time, school-based health clinic, based at Kaitaia Primary School. It provides medical care to 2000 children at 14 primary and intermediate schools.

Rounding out the Top 10 are familiar faces A/B captain Richie McCaw, tv personality Judy Bailey, last year's winner ex-A/B John Kirwan, ex-tv personality Kevin Milne, ex-tv chef Alison Holst, ex-Olympic running champ Peter Snell, Olympic shot-putter Valerie Adams and tv weatherman Jim Hickey.
[Hmmm, sport and tv...what does that say about us as a nation?]
It's the tenth year Reader's Digest has held its trust survey, which ranks the people and professions NZers place their faith in.
Not surprisingly, politicians were prominent on the bottom end of the list, with Kim Dotcom at 99th. Others in the bottom 10 include David Cunliffe (97), Winston Peters (96), Russel Norman (91), and Pita Sharples (90).
The annual survey also ranks professions. Firefighters have topped the list for a decade running now, joined by paramedics, rescue volunteers, nurses, pilots, doctors, pharmacists, vets, armed forces personnel and police. Journalists are less trusted than lawyers, coming in at 43rd of the 49 total professions, despite there being many media personalities on the most-trusted people list. Politicians are up one place from last year, coming in 47th equal with sex workers (!!).
The least-liked of all professions? A tie, between door-to-door salespeople and telemarketers!

Casey's Countdown Is Over

Top 40 Countdown king Casey Kasem has switched off the mic.

Kasem passed away last Sunday (US time), surrounded by family and friends...
...recently however Kasem was surrounded by a feud between his three adult kids and his second wife. In 2013, his children went to court to gain control of his care, alleging Kasem was suffering from advanced Parkinson's disease and that his wife was isolating him from friends and family. Kasem also suffered from a form of dementia.
Last May a judge stripped his wife of her caretaker role, after she moved him from a Los Anglees medical facility to a friend's home in Washington state. She said she did so to protect his privacy and to consult with doctors. Casey developed a severe bedsore while there, and was in critical condition by the time he was hospitalised in early June...
But let's wind the turntable back: Kasem's legendary American Top 40 began on 04 July 1970, in LA: the first show featured the very last time both Elvis Presley and The Beatles had songs simultaneously in the Top 10.
Kasem (the son of Lebanese immigrants) said in 1975: "The idea from the beginning was to do the type of thing on radio that Ed Sullivan did on tv - good honest stories with human interest."

While many DJs degraded their performances with crap stunts and 'morning zoo' garbage, Kasem would read listeners' long-distance dedications and background anecdotes about the singers. His cheerful manner and gentle voice was heard on over a thousand stations in 50 countries. He stepped down from AT40 in 2004 and retired in 2009.
Kasem's voice was also heard in TV cartoons such as Scooby-Doo (he was Shaggy) and in numerous commercials.
Many of us in the radio industry remember playing his AT40. The show was recorded in the US late in the week, pressed onto vinyl overnight (ahhhh, those were the days!!!) and rushed to stations for play that weekend. In the days before satellite feeds and digital downloads, that service was phenomenal! Those who still have a weekly AT40 boxed set will treasure it as a piece of radio history.
As too was his classic signoff: "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."
Casey Kasem was 82.

Taking It To The Whalers

Some write about the issues...some sign petitions...others are in a position to physically do something themselves.
Early this month, 32yr.old German tourist and anti-whaling activist Arne Feuerhahn had been travelling Iceland: "When I found out that whaling was still going on there by Kristján Loftsson [the CEO of Hvalur], I couldn't just sit back and do nothing about it."

Arne boarded the whaling vessel Hvalur 8, and spent 15 hours up its mast, chained into the crow's nest. While there, the organization Hard To Port claims he was threatened: "Arne received numerous threats from pro-whalers including death threats. Workers on the ship hit the mast with a lifting ramp twice. Police showed up to calm things down."
Conversely the whaling company's spokesperson Halldór Gíslason said the Hvalur employees had ignored him apart from taking pictures.
Hvalur 8 was docked at the shipyard in Reykjavík in preparation for the upcoming whaling season, which begins this month. The quota for fin whales is 154.

No Parents Allowed

What's a school sports day, without parents to cheer their kids on?
But at Glapton Academy primary school in Nottinghamshire, UK, parents have been banned over fears they could cause a Hillsborough-style crush!
Headteacher Ruth Ellis says the decision was made because of "rising pupil numbers." The school has 318 pupils on the roll, up from 284 in 2010. Not a major school by any stretch of the imagination, and yet parents were told to keep away from the day – which features such events as the traditional egg and spoon race, and a sack race – because the school could not guarantee children's safety.
Children have been very upset to learn their parents wouldn't be participating and cheering them on.
Head of governors Nick Ydlibi: "We feel that due to the rise in pupils it would be extremely difficult to guarantee the safety of our children at an outdoor event with open gates."
Parents have branded the ruling 'bonkers'. David Elliott said he spoke to a school official who told him the ban was for health and safety reasons: "When I asked what the school was afraid of, she said there was a potential for a crush. I said "What, like Hillsborough?", sort of as a joke, and she said, "Yes"."
The Hillsborough Disaster happened in 1989 when, during the Liverpool/Nottingham Forest FA Cup semi-final, a human crush caused 96 deaths and injuries to 766 others.
David Elliott: "What's next? Are they going to stop us watching the school Christmas play?"

Coke Goes Green?

The first new Coca-Cola, since Coke Zero was launched in 2006, will hit the UK shelves this September.
Coca-Cola Life is a naturally-sweetened drink with a third less sugar and calories than the regular galvanised-steel-nail-dissolving stuff.

It's part of govt/industry efforts to tackle obesity in the UK, and follows a pilot in Argentina and Chile.
The new cola is sweetened with a blend of sugar and stevia leaf extract (stevia leaf extract is naturally sourced from the stevia plant, native to South America). A 330ml can will contain 89 calories (a regular 330ml Coke has 35gms sugar, or 39% of an adult’s guideline daily amount. Coke Zero and Diet Coke contain no calories). Coca-Cola Life will contain 22.1gms or 25% of an adult’s GDA.
It'll also be sold in a green can.
Currently, Coca-Cola Great Britain uses stevia leaf extract as a sweetener in its Sprite and Glaceau vitamin water brands. It says the new drink is part of its commitment to offer reduced, low and no-calorie options. The company signed the UK Govt's Responsibility Deal, where the food and drink industry has pledged to promote a healthier diet and make changes to their products. Coca-Cola has committed to reduce the average calories per litre in its range of sparkling drinks by 5% by the end of 2014.
Early this year, a group of UK health experts launched a campaign to reduce the amount of sugar added to food and soft drinks as part of an effort to reverse the UK's obesity and diabetes crisis. 'Action On Sugar' said the food industry would easily achieve a 20-30% reduction in the amount of sugar added to products, which would result in a reduction of approx.100 calories per day or more in those particularly prone to obesity.

Thar She Blows

The 11th annual Cook Strait Whale Survey begins this Saturday (14 June), aiming to determine how humpback whales are recovering since commercial whaling ended in 1964.

Former whalers will again be part of the Department of Conservation (DoC) research team, spotting humpbacks migrating through the strait on their annual journey from Antarctic waters to South Pacific breeding grounds.
The Cook Strait Whale Survey has run each winter since 2004. Last year's bad weather made it difficult to see whales out at sea, but nonetheless 59 humpbacks were counted. Researchers are hoping for better weather in this year's 4wk.survey (ending 12 July).
Wellington marine ecologist Nadine Bott says whale recovery is assessed by comparing survey numbers to whalers' records of humpbacks in Cook Strait from the 1950s/early 1960s: "The findings indicate the NZ humpback population is increasing but only slowly."

While some of the team spot for whales on land, others approach the whales by boat to gather information for identifying individual whales. Photos and skin samples (using a biopsy dart tool) are taken. These are checked against photographs and genetic samples from whales across the South Pacific to see if any match. The information to date shows some humpback whales migrating through NZ waters are also seen off the east coast of Australia and around New Caledonia.
Researchers also gather data and identification information on other whale species seen, which in the past has included blue, southern right, minke and sperm whales.
The public can help, by reporting sightings of whales in the Cook Strait area or along the northern Kaikoura coast, to DOC on 03/520-3002. Information is sought on the date, time and place of whale sightings, number of whales, and the direction the whale or whales were travelling.

Biggus Dickus

Tan m'hide when I'm dead, Fred...
Hang m'dick on the wall, Paul!
Jonah Falcon, the NY actor with the longest penis on record, has bequeathed his dick to the Iceland Phallological Museum!
43yr.old Falcon became an internet star a few years back, after having

It really is THIIIIIIS BIG!!!

his manhood measured on a tv doco called Unhung Hero.
He's been stopped and frisked by San Francisco Airport security, after they spotted the large bulge in his pants (Yes, sir, I am carrying a Weapon of Mass Destruction!).
He claims he can completely envelop a doorknob with his foreskin... rrriiiggghhhttt! Why WOULD you?! And then why would you TELL anyone that???
Falcon's turned down countless opportunities to appear in porn movies, but the chance to have his member on display at the museum (nicknamed The Penis Museum) has finally persuaded him to make use of his 34cm / 13.5" sex organ. Jonah says the invitation flattered him, as he appreciates the museum's devotion to science.
The museum (opened in 1997 in the capital Reykjavik) is one of Iceland's most bizarre attractions. It features 300+ specimen penises and penile parts from over 93 creatures, including whales, walruses, seals, a gorilla and a polar bear. The sizes range from a 2m whale penis to a 2mm hamster one.
Falcon says it would be an honour to have his manhood on display there after his death. He hopes it'll be placed between the sexual organs of a polar bear and a sperm whale, joking that he wouldn't want to make either of them jealous.
Hey, I know, they could call the exhibit "Jonah and the Whale"!

Stand Aside, Sir Isaac Newton

A sleek Gulfstream V is set to soar into the South Island skies this month.
The US-based High-Performance Instrumented Airborne Platform for Environmental Research (Hiaper) aircraft is centrepiece of a huge, multi-national scientific study centred on the South Island over the next two months.

The 8yr.old $100m highly-modified corporate jet contains some of the most sophisticated scientific technology ever sent airborne. With 100+ researchers from the US, UK, Germany, Oz and NZ, the Deepwave project sets out to unravel the mysteries of gravity waves, a vital but little-understood atmospheric element.
Gravity waves form when winds strike a large obstacle (such as a mountain range), sending ripples hundreds of kilometres across land and water, and vertically into the atmosphere.
The Southern Alps are considered a "hot spot" for gravity waves, as the seasonal positioning of the southern circumpolar jet system over them creates strong gravity waves.

Tony Bromley, National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research meteorologist: "Because there are no other influences from terrain, you get a smooth flow on the western side right across the Southern Ocean and, when they hit the Southern Alps, you get the uplifting effect."
Within these waves (which can reach heights of 100km), the jet will fly 20 missions at up to 12,800m, extending across to Tasmania and deep into the subantarctic Southern Ocean.
The Deepwave project will be based at Christchurch Intl.Airport.

Is Your Brain In Your DICK???

If you thought watching porn could make you go blind, think again.
A new German study says that porn may have adverse effects on your brain!
Researchers say men who watch a lot of porn usually have smaller striatum (that's the area of the brain linked to motivation and rewards). The connection between the striatum and the prefrontal cortex (responsible for behaviour and decision-making) also decreases when watching increased amounts of porn.

As well as possible brain shrinkage, a lot of porn also makes it difficult for people to become aroused by their own sexual partners, there are potency problems, and some become bored by mainstream porn and seek more extremes.
A survey by the University of East London said 97% of boys aged 16-20 have viewed porn, and girls of the same age: 80%. One in three women regularly watches porn, and 70% of men 18-24 visit porn sites at least once a month.
There's a significant number of students, boys in particular, for whom it is quite a frequent behaviour. At that age, they're still developing their sexuality, their ideas of what's normal in sex, and ideas of what's appropriate in relationships. Heavy exposure to pornography can be problematic in all of these areas.
So the nuns were right - pornography DOES sink the brain! Mind you, perhaps those with smaller brains are more attracted to porn. And, if their brains are in their dicks, they may be very very small brains indeed...

The Price Of Saving History

Six months after the Feb.2011 EQ: courtesy PhilBee NZ

Restoring one of Christchurch's most prominent historic landmarks will cost at least $50 million.
The Canterbury Provincial Council buildings (cnr.Armagh/Durham Sts.), are widely acknowledged as NZ's most outstanding example of high Victorian gothic revival architecture.
They were severely damaged in the Feb.2011 earthquake: the stone chamber (c.1865), collapsed and the stone towers at both Armagh and Durham streets had to be deconstructed.
The Chch City Council, determined to see the buildings restored, has revealed the restoration work is likely to cost at least $50m, maybe as much as $70m, well over the council's expected $30m total insurance payout.
Deputy Mayor Vicki Buck is questioning where the extra money will come from and where the restoration of the buildings fits on the council's list of spending priorities. She says the council needs to start looking at the bigger picture and weighing where it's best to spend its money: "If there's limited capital we need to start looking at which are the most important assets."
Hmmmm, I'd have expected council to have been doing that from Day One, not starting now - three years after the EQs!
The council has secured some funding for the restoration. The Chch Earthquake Appeal Trust and the Ministry for Culture and Heritage were giving $2.5m towards repairing the complex's two stone towers. (The trust received about $100m in donations to help repair damaged properties across the city.)
Rebuilding the Canterbury Provincial Council buildings is due to start later this year.