The Expendables is billed as a hard-hitting action/thriller about mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator. Original, huh?
Written, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone, it features a macho big-name cast including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mickey Rourke. But except for 'youngster' Jason Statham, Stallone’s geriatric heroes are pretty creaky. And hands up which of them is NOT munching anabolic steroids?
The much-trumpeted cameos by Arnie and Bruce are lucky to have lasted a minute, and both are quite weak. Likewise the "ruthless" dictator, who never seems anything more than a lackey of a crooked CIA operative.
The action sequences look totally staged, the violence excessive. It's C-grade stuff, with an A-grade explosives budget. Hell, there's not even the mandatory one-liners and, if there had been, you'd never have heard them anyway - despite his years in the game (or perhaps because of it) Sly still just mumbles, and Dolph has caught the disease too. I can understand the need to have a support group for elderly action heroes who want to relive their glory days, but why they had to release it as a film is beyond me. Yet the frightening thing is, Stallone's already planning a sequel!
Bottom line? The Expendables really is! Er, expendable, I mean.
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