Vibrating Finger? Yea, Right.

God knows how old this ad is...!
A vibrating finger to massage your...errrr...gums with. Fits in your hand. Comes complete with its own carrying case too. 
Imagine giving one of these for a gift: "I really thought you might like a vibrating finger to stick in your...um...mouth..."!!
Why am I feeling a "Yea, right" moment coming on???

Armageddon Due In 2040

It's on its way.
Nasa has identified a new asteroid threat that could potentially impact Earth on February 5th 2040.
Asteroid 2011 AG5 has a one-in-625 chance of hitting us - in an area the size of the universe, that's not good odds.
This rock's already concerning the UN Action Team on near-Earth objects (did you even know such a group existed??!!), which is discussing ways to divert it. One option is to use a nuclear weapon against the asteroid, as in the Bruce Willis film Armageddon...but this would create a shower of rocks instead of just one. NASA is also talking about putting a probe onto the rock and using the extra gravity the craft generates to steer the asteroid away. Another option would be slamming a probe into it so the impact would have the same effect.
If the 460ft 2011 AG5 hits a major city it would cause millions of deaths, although mankind would live through it. In comparison, the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs 65m years ago was nine miles wide!
Scientists have not been able to work out much more than its size, as they've only been able to view it for half its orbit. Between 2013 and 2016 they'll be able to make a more detailed assessment. In 2023 the rock will make a 'keyhole pass' of Earth (on the orbit before it might hit us). NASA says this will be about 1.86 million miles from us.
Much of the world’s recent asteroid attention has been on the Aphophis asteroid, which is the size of two and a half football fields and predicted to pass real close in 2036: within 18,300 miles and be visible from most of Europe, Africa and Asia.
There're approx.19,000 such 'mid-sized' asteroids within 120 million miles of Earth ('mid-sized' = asteroids between 330ft and 3,300ft wide, which could destroy a city-sized area if they hit). Get the impression we're living on borrowed time?
So, put February 5th 2040 in your diary now. Just a shame ol' doomsayer Harold Camping won't be around to see the end...!
Or Bruce Willis to save us!

USA Kept In The Dark

Israel is saying...that it won't say a thing!
If it pre-emptively hits Iranian nuclear facilities soon, it won't warn USA first. This'll decrease the possibility that US may be held responsible for failing to stop any action. The decision also stems from Israel's frustration with US. Israel is sure they'll neither take military action, nor go along with Israeli action against Iran.
US has been working with Israel for months, to persuade them any attack would be only a temporary setback to Iran's nuke programme. Yet Israel still reserves the right to pre-emptively protect itself, and statements like this must surely be 'the writing on the wall'.
Maryland representative Dutch Ruppersberger, top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee met Israel's PM and Defence Minister:
"We talked about how the sanctions are working and they're going to get a lot more aggressive. We're going to send a message: enough is enough, the stalling is over...all options are on the table."
Remarkable - they're finally learning from their time-wasting over North Korea! All those peace talks...and meanwhile DPRK went ahead and developed a nuke! Now it has enough material for up to nine nukes, and the capability to deploy them on intermediate-range ballistic missiles. Nice one, USA!
Michigan Republican representative Mike Rogers: "I got the sense that Israel is incredibly serious about a strike on their nuclear weapons programme." Jeez, no flies on this guy!
Israel may yet be allowed to use US bases to launch a strike, as a way to 'buy' the Americans a heads-up.
Iran claims its nuclear programme is for peaceful purposes, but the International Atomic Energy Agency has raised alarms that its uranium enrichment programme might be a precursor to building nuclear weapons.
The US has said it doesn't know whether Tehran has decided to weaponise its nuclear material and put it on a missile. It also recently said it didn't know if Israel had the capability to actually attack Iran.
So is there anything definitive that the Mighty USA does know?
Oh yea...that they're being kept out of the loop.
Hell, that must piss 'em off big time!!!
PS: 05 March 2012 - Obama asks Israel for more time to allow sanctions to bite...
PS: 07 March 2012 - Iran agrees to resume nuke talks!