Thursday, December 20, 2012

Soundtrack For The End Of The World

According to the Mayan calendar, the world is supposed to end this Friday, December 21. Yeup, that's right: TOMORROW!
Which, if you believe it, is a real bummer - basically you slave for one last day at work and don’t even get rewarded with Christmas!
The Mayans reckoned the world would end or experience drastic changes on Dec.21, 2012 at 11:11 p.m. This is the end date of a 5,125-year long cycle.
Somewhat inconsiderately, the oh-so-wise Mayans didn't give us a heads-up on what's a-comin', and a lot of scientists around the world have been having a field day burning up research dollars on idle speculation. Some think there'll be a polar shift (north and south poles switching positions), the world burns up, a black hole, or perhaps an alien invasion will occur. Ok, so some words of advice:
In the event of a polar shift, avoid tidal waves. Stay in the middle of your country.
World burns up? Sorry, no-one can dodge THAT bullet, not even the Pope or ol' Harold Camping!
Black hole? Like the sinking sands of the Wild West movies, the harder you struggle the tougher it is to get out.
Aliens: unless you're Drew Barrymore, ET's punched your ticket.
So instead do a few limbering-up exercises...flex that body...bend over to touch your toes...spread those legs...head between 'em.... and kiss your arse goodbye!
Mind you, if the Mayans ARE right, at least we won't have to repay our Christmas credit card bills!
And if the global full-stop DOES happen, why not play us all out with a few appropriate hits? The world's musicmakers over the years have penned quite a few end-of-world scenarios (admittedly mainly post-nuke. I don't recall a major hit involving the Mayan calandar, though perhaps there was a chart-topper released in the Andes!). How about...
Prince - 1999 (from 1982); David Bowie - Five Years (1972); Nena - 99 Red Balloons (1983); Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around (2002); REM - It's The End Of The World As We Know It (1987)
Of course, if you DON'T believe in the Mayan Haymaker and/or you're reading this the day AFTER the "end of the world", then you can thoroughly look forward to an enjoyable Christmas...(with a slight sigh of relief perhaps?...)


Muse Bewell said...

Ya know, if someone saw my calendar, centuries after my civilization was abandoned... they'd be really freakin out!

Writer Of The Purple Sage said...

So much to little time, huh?! LOL Know the feeling!