Winners And Losers

Ahhhh, the pitfalls of posting selfies!
An Ozzie woman who posted a pic of her winning Melbourne Cup ticket has had her A$825 winnings stolen.

...and OMG! She's BLONDE!!!

The Perth woman, known only as Chantelle, backed the 100-to-1 shot Prince of Penzance in last Tuesday's Melbourne Cup.
When she found out she'd won, she posted a selfie - including its clearly-readable barcode (duuuuuhhhh!!!) - to brag to her friends.
Well, one of those "friends" wasn't quite so friendly! Just 15 minutes later, she tried to cash her winning ticket...only to find it had already been claimed.
Shock-horror-probe! Someone had downloaded the selfie pic, cut out the winning ticket's barcode and put it into an automated machine.
The theft was made all the worse after Chantelle realised the culprit must have been one of her Facebook "friends".
This should serve as a warning to social media users posting seemingly innocuous images that may contain sensitive information...but you know it won't. This stupid practice of self-publicity will continue, and rip-offs like this will happen again!
So, at whom should our scorn be directed: the ratbag Facebook "friend" who made an opportunistic cash-killing? Or the bimbo idiot who showed the world her winning barcode?

A Real Love Story

A man, recently dumped by his girlfriend of four years, was browsing the web when he saw an offer he could not refuse.
No, not some sordid on-line romance! A brand-new casino site was offering new players $30 free, for a chance to win a progressive jackpot of over half a million dollars.
Carl Matthews had just lost his job, and had racked up over $9K of credit card bills he couldn't pay back. Just when he thought his life couldn't suck any harder, his girlfriend Amy Parkinson decided to call it quits...via text! A real class act...

Amy: "Carl was the sweetest guy, but I needed someone with drive, who could look after me financially and I just never saw Carl being that person."
In stepped KARMA!!!
Carls life was about to dramatically change. Those $30 that initially aroused his interest ended up multiplying for him over 10,000 times. After spinning for 14 minutes, Carl won a progressive jackpot that dropped a massive $362,259.03 into his bank account!
Curiously, Amy's feelings towards Carl quickly changed. "She started calling, texting, emailing, saying she wanted to give it another go. Saying she wanted to make it work. That she loved me, she missed me, she couldn't imagine life without me," says Carl.
Current state of play:
Carl remains single. Amy remains persistent.
Assessment:
It simply MUST be true love. Right? RIIIIIGGHHTT!!

Blonde Bimbo's Burger Ring Blunder

"With this burger
ring, I thee wed."

Was it because she was blonde?
Was it because she was Australian?
Whitney Beseler will no doubt be remembered for all of...ohhhh...15 minutes, for the "most embarrassing moment of her life" on the tv show, Millionaire Hot Seat Australia.
The P.E. teacher/Contiki tour manager from Ballarat didn't write history as the one who took home a million smackeroos. She'll be remembered as the blonde who didn't get the super-simple $100 question right!
She was asked by host Eddie McGuire: "Which of these is not a piece of jewellery commonly worn to symbolise a relationship between two people?"
The choices: anniversary ring, engagement ring, wedding ring and...burger ring.
Tough one, huh? Beseler confidentially locked in 'anniversary ring'.
Bzzzzzzztt! Time's up!
Only then did Whitney realise her mistake: "Oh my God, burger ring! Oh, Eddie - that's the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Can we cut and start again please?"
Er...no...we can't.

Mind you, in the 'dumbness' stakes, she's got a looooong way to go, to beat Miss South Carolina in Miss Teen USA 2007!

Take One for The Team

A Danish travel agency has the solution for Denmark's falling birth rate.

It’s called "Do it for Denmark" and, in a humorous (if somewhat long) video, it asks "Can sex save Denmark's future?".
The travel agency urges couples to go on vacation, and make babies to deal with Denmark's flaccid birth rate - currently at a 27yr record low. Since 2000, the birth rate has declined by 17%, making it the lowest among Nordic countries.
The ad claims 10% of Denmark's babies are conceived on vacation, and that nearly half of the population admit to having more sex while on holiday.
To help the falling Danish birth rate, the travel agency is encouraging Danes to take that romantic getaway. The winning couples who can prove they conceived on the trip get a 3yr supply of nappies and a free child-friendly future vacation as part of their special 'Ovulation Discount'.
The video (with more than 3 million YouTube views) stars a young blonde Danish woman: "Meet Emma. She's Danish. But even though she was born and raised in Denmark, she was made in Paris, up there, in that hotel room…" etc etc. Get the drift?
And even if you don't want/can't have a baby, look at it this way. It's not just about winning: it's how you play the game!

Dickhead DJ To Appear At Inquest

Mel Greig, one of the pillick Aussie DJs behind a prank call to a hospital treating the Duchess of Cambridge, is to appear at the upcoming inquest into the death of UK nurse Jacintha Saldanha, who took her life after the call went to air.

...and YES, she IS blonde!

Grieg was working for 2Day FM Sydney at the time. Her lawyers say: "Ms Saldanha's suicide was a devastating tragedy and Ms Greig's thoughts have been with the family ever since." Hmmm...sure.
Greig decided to appear at the inquest after it came to light that in one of three (!!!) suicide notes, Saldanha directly blamed Greig and her colleague Michael Christian for her death - and asked her bosses to make them pay her mortgage! In the note, she clears the hospital of any blame: "Please accept my apologies. I am truly sorry. Thank you for all your support. I hold the Radio Australians Mel Greig and Michael Christian responsible for this act. Please make them pay my mortgage. I am sorry. Jacintha."
Dec.2012: Saldanha was on the hospital switchboard when the DJs, impersonating the Queen and Prince Charles, were transferred by her to the Duchess of Cambridge's ward. A second nurse then told the DJs that the duchess, in the early stages of pregnancy, was suffering from acute morning sickness. The call was recorded and broadcast by the station later, received global media attention, and days later Jacintha's body was discovered.
As I wrote at the time, it was a pathetic attempt at humour which backfired terribly, BUT...even though these embarrassing excuses for broadcasters were responsible for the call, they were not responsible for the end result. No-one in their right mind kills themselves over a radio prank. And that's the crux of it all: was Jacintha Saldanha "in her right mind" at the time? 
Oh, and BTW, has anyone checked the handwriting on that note (coz it sounds like a very neatly tied-off loose end to me...).

Culture Clash: Say What?

In our Brave New World, so strung out on Political Correctness, racial tolerances, cultural acceptance, minorities rule etc etc *yawn*... we'd be most likely to view this photograph, and assume the two Islamic women are muttering: "Shock! Horror! Probe! How dare she dress like that, and strut her stuff in public??!! Western harlot!"

In actual fact, what's the bet they're really saying:
"Hmmm, nice Jimmy Choos..."
"They'd match your Louis Vuitton handbag very well, darlink!"
"True...but how is she able to walk on grass in stilettos???"

"Au Revoir, Papa! Remember, We'll Always Have Tripoli..."

This must rank as The Quote Of The Week!
Galyna Kolotnytska: "I am happy to die with Qaddafi...but the world really needs my nursing skills."
Is her name familiar? Galyna is the Ukrainian nurse/bodyguard who's been Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi’s constant companion for nine years. She's top of the peeking order, among his female bodyguard entourage.
Well, she's fled Libya's political upheaval and headed home to Kiev. She was overheard on her flight from Tripoli, calling Qaddafi 'Papa', saying: "Papa is good, Papa is forever. Qaddafi will win, in 1-2 months we will be going back there." (Mind you, reports also say she was drunk at the time too!)
Sounds like Galyna's listened to Qaddafi’s rambling assessment of the situation too much. Maybe now she's back in Kiev she'll turn on the TV and see for herself the real state of play.
Her apartment is surrounded by journalists, eager for some photos of Qaddafi’s famous 'voluptuous blonde' companion. Having journalists pestering her will be a new experience, as such things did not happen in Libya: "Oh Papa,I don’t like the way that guy is looking at me. Please can you have him arrested?"
Her mother Iryna has told reporters: "You have tarnished my daughter's reputation by saying she was Qaddafi's lover! I’ll tell you one thing: Galya will not return to Libya again!"
Yeup, mum's right - Gaddafi was only interested in her nursing skills!

Oooooooohhh baby, come to Papa!!!

Sex Toys Not For Play

An Aussie sheila's bizarre plan to play floaties with a blow-up doll deflated last weekend.
Queensland police were alerted when two 19yr.olds struck trouble mid-afternoon Sunday. Floating down the flood-swollen Yarra River on two inflatable sex dolls, the woman lost her latex playmate when the play got rough. They clung to a floating tree, calling for help. Fortunately, a passer-by called rescuers while a kayaker took life jackets to them.
But, with Queensland in the grip of a deadly flooding emergency and numerous genuine rescues in the past week, police were not amused. The incident prompted a warning from cops that blow-up sex toys are "not recognised flotation devices": yeup, they breed their cops bright in Oz!!
Meanwhile the fate of said inflatable dolls is unknown - they're no doubt lost somewhere in the wet patch, and so won't be around to respect 'em in the morning!

The Mad Dog Gets His Bone!

Wikileaks unveiled 250,000 diplomatic documents last weekend, and what do we find? *Shock!*Horror!*Probe!*
Nothing that'll stop the world turning. No smoking gun. No cat out of the bag. No fox in the hen house. For all the mutterings in the corridors of Langley, the juiciest tit-bits so far (and I use that term intentionally) involve the Mad Dog of Libya, Muammar Qaddafi. Wait, stop the bus: maybe the fox is in the hen house...!

More tea, darlink?

Classified diplomatic cables reveal the 68yr.old Libyan leader actually has good taste! Seems he has a staff of four Ukrainian nurses - including one named Galyna Kolotnytska who's described as a "voluptuous blonde". Galyna is 38, and the only one of the four-gal team that knows Da Boss's routine inside-out. So just how well does she know his routine? Inside-out!
The cables state Qaddafi has female bodyguards rather than males, and say "it's unknown currently why he travels like that". Well, duuuuuuh, think about it!! Voluptuous? Blonde? Able to leap large beds in a single bound? Unt vis an irrrrrrresistable Rrrrrrrussian accent, and a 9mm Makarov tucked in her garter belt!

See the attraction?

There's even *gasp* a suggestion that G and G are "doing the wild thang"! Wow, those US diplomats must have very high IQs: I'd never have figured that out! So...just how well does he know her routine? Say all together: inside-out!
Other earthshattering revelations are that Qaddafi loves horse-racing and flamenco dancing. So...? To hell with all that: the man likes blonde voluptuous Ukrainian nurses... inside-out!
Qaddafi, you've just risen in my esteem by mega-points! Go, you Mad Dog, you!

Is White The New Brown?

Is this a case of "the pot calling the kettle black"?
Or at least, not brown enough?
A blonde blue-eyed Wellington woman is at the centre of a new racism storm after winning a Miss IndiaNZ beauty contest... and then being accused of not looking Indian! Jacinta Lal was booed and has been the subject of complaints to organisers from Indian spectators who she says are no better than the dearly-departed TV presenter Paul Henry.
Jacinta - who won the central district Miss IndiaNZ back in April - has a Fiji-Indian dad and a NZ mum, but festival organisers received complaints questioning her eligibility for the pageant. Jacinta said she had heard people saying that she didn't look Indian enough to win!
The rucus has only now surfaced after the Henry incident. She says: "The Indian community seem to have taken great offence at Henry's comments but when I attended that beauty pageant, I saw huge offence coming back the other way. There's no difference between what Paul Henry and those select few Indians were saying."
Jacinta also raised eyebrows when she came to Auckland for the national Miss IndiaNZ pageant in August.
Organisers strongly emphasise that this event is not an Indian event but a Kiwi-Indian event, so entrants must have NZ residency, NZ citizenship and some sort of Indian background. It would have been nice if some of the spectators had kept that in mind...

Bennett Bows Out

TVNZ has set a new course for its current affairs show Sunday, but frontman Cameron Bennett is out...after 24 years! The channel's refreshing the TV One and Sunday brands, and that involves a reduction in reporting and current affairs positions. Curious how one can run a current affairs programme with fewer current affairs journalists...

There's speculation that Breakfast co-host Pippa Wetzell may take over as Sunday presenter early next year after her maternity leave...but she's really just lightweight fluff. It's interesting that, even though he's still employed by TVNZ for another six weeks until the end of August, his comprehensive profile has already been wiped from the TVNZ website! For the record, here it is:

“Cameron Bennett is both the host and a senior reporter on Sunday.
As one of NZ's most experienced journalists, his wide-ranging career includes 20 years reporting for TVNZ, both as a News and Current Current Affairs reporter.
He was TVNZ's Europe Correspondent, based in London, between 1991-95 and his extensive international reporting experience has included coverage of the Bosnian civil war and the post-genocide exodus from Rwanda.
Reporting assignments have taken him from Somalia to Palestine, Iraq to Afghanistan. Cameron has also covered conflict in East Timor, Fiji, ethnic rebels in Myanmar and the rebellion against Boris Yeltsin in Moscow. He reported the historic post-apartheid elections in South Africa, extensively in Western Europe, SE Asia and the Pacific.
More recently, there has been an undercover assignment in Zimbabwe, coverage from the rebel zone in Ivory Coast and the aftermath of the Indian Ocean tsunami in Sri Lanka.
His career highlights as a reporter for ONE News, Holmes, 60 Minutes and Sunday have included the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks in New York and Washington DC and a challenging insight into the prison centre at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
He also anchored TVNZ's Foreign Correspondent programme and co-authored the best-seller 'Foreign Correspondents' about his reporting experiences out of London in the 1990s.
Cameron has picked up Qantas and New York Festival awards since joining TVNZ in 1986.
He began his journalistic career as a general reporter on the Northern Advocate (Whangarei) and later as a general/industrial round reporter on the Evening Post (Wellington).
He began his career in television as a script-writer with the London-based news agency Worldwide Television News (WTN). ”
When one reads that, one does wonder why such a multi-talented extremely experienced journalist has become yet another budget casualty. What a bloody waste!
PS: 29 Aug.2010 - Tonight was Cameron's last night on tv. As always, calm, poised, professional til the end...

Social Networking Could Land You In Jail

Social networking websites are filled with videos of people in humorous situations or making prize fools of themselves: the 2007 clip of Miss South Carolina earning the title of 'Blonde Bimbo Of The Millennium' is a classic case in point!
These sites are also filled with people exercising poor judgment in the real world, and then making things worse by posting videos of their actions online. They're obviously unaware that now the police are using these sites to help fight crime. US cops policing state forests often surf YouTube, to find video evidence of 4WD-drivers damaging forest parks or driving down fish-bearing creek beds.
To make a case with YouTube, police need to see a licence plate and identify a landmark to confirm the illegal off-roading is happening on their turf... and they're having some success. Those who post such self-praising videos don't think beyond illustrating how much fun they may be having at others' expense. A positive spin-off is that now many off-road clubs, who use the internet to increase their membership, have instigated self-policing on their websites, to show their sport in the best possible light.
Earlier this year, a YouTube video showing Norwegian backpackers shooting a protected New Zealand native wood pigeon (kereru) caused public outrage. In NZ the maximum penalty for killing such wildlife is a $100,000 fine and up to a year in jail. The five were lucky to have returned to Norway by the time the video was posted.
While tracking offenders via YouTube videos is not a failsafe method for police, it's another option in their crimefighting arsenal.
PS: 16 October 2010 - In NZ, three men who viciously attacked a protected leopard seal by throwing rocks at it and dragging it down a beach have been busted by placing their photos on Facebook. Beware!!

Jessica Comes Home...

Aussie teen Jessica Watson sailed into Sydney and history this afternoon, ending her 7-month solo round-the-world voyage just three days before her 17th birthday. An estimated 100,000 lined the foreshore to welcome her home. Hundreds of boats were also on the water, flanking her yacht Ella's Pink Lady as it crossed the finish line at The Heads.
Watson began her 210-day trip amid controversy in October 2009. She had hoped to become the youngest person to ever sail solo, non-stop and unassisted around the world, but that’s unlikely after UK-based World Speed Sailing Racing Council said she had not sailed far enough north of the equator. It also said she would not be recognised as the youngest person to sail around the world… because it discontinued the category while she was out there! But Jess is unfazed: "If I haven't been sailing around the world, then it beats me what I've been doing out here all this time!"
Jessica sailed almost 23,000nm, crossing the equator twice and rounding Cape Horn and the Cape of Good Hope. Her efforts may see her financially secure for life: already promises and contracts worth an estimated A$1 million await. And that may be just the start: a documentary is in production, a book - True Spirit - is on the way, and the movie rights bidding is still to come.
The Oz public is split on her achievement. Some talkback callers objected to spending taxpayers' money escorting her through the harbour. Others think the adulation is obscene. Some say it's wrong to cheer reckless pursuit of a selfish end, because it might encourage other young people to risk their lives unnecessarily. Most Australians however love a winner.
Put your money on Jessica Watson to be the next 'Young Australian of the Year'! [Meantime, relive her entire journey on her website and blog.]

Bulletpoints on Tuesday May 4th.

In a hot report Yahoo! and the Trade in Whale, Dolphin and Elephant Products, the non-profit Environmental Investigation Agency (EIA) says Yahoo! Japan is a major hub for internet trade in whale and dolphin meat, and elephant ivory products via its online shopping and auction websites...
Jessica Watson aboard Ella's Pink Lady has made it around Tasmania on her solo global jaunt, and is now headed north on the final leg to Sydney for her triumphant homecoming (for more, check out her website and blog).
Japan's issued an arrest warrant for the leader of marine conservation group Sea Shepherd: it accuses Paul Watson of endangering the lives of whaling crews in the Antarctic. Japan is seeking Watson's arrest through Interpol on suspicion of assault and obstruction of business (Business? Hmmm, don't they maintain it's all "research"???)...
A real-life Avatar situation is being played out in the Amazon, as exploitation of the rainforests threatens (and sometimes wipes out) whole tribes – some of which have never had contact with the Western world before...
...and US Pres.Obama warns of an unprecedented environmental disaster, as the Gulf of Mexico oil slick hits delicate Louisiana wetlands and wildlife...and the accusations against BP gain volume.

Jess On The Home Straight

Aussie teenage sailor Jessica Watson is now on the home straight of her 38,000km circumnavigation of the globe. On Easter Monday she sailed past the 35,000km mark, and last Saturday she passed Cape Leeuwin (the most SW mainland point of Australia).
“Today started with a lovely sunrise as Ella's Pink Lady sailed into Australian waters. Hot chocolate in hand, a light sprinkling of rain and with an albatross circling above, it was one of those really special moments.”
She sailed within 90km of the coast, as her parents flew overhead in support.
Now there’s just 3700km/2000nm to reach Tasmania, then a further 920km to Sydney, where she is aiming to arrive early next month. Strong tail winds are expected as Jess sails south of the Great Australian Bight heading for Tasmania. (for more, check out her website and blog)

Another Day - Another Ocean

Another cape passed...and into another ocean!
Jessica Watson continues her round-the-world solo sail by passing 400nm below the southern end of Africa on Wednesday and now pushes on into the Indian Ocean.
That puts her a tad over 4,000nm away from sight of Australia - although there'll be a few more miles after that before she sails into Sydney...(for more, check out her website and blog).

Jess Rounds Cape Horn - Half Way!

Aussie schoolgirl/sailor Jessica Watson has just conquered the Mount Everest of the maritime world by rounding Cape Horn at the southern tip of South America, doing so in 40 knot winds, mist, drizzle and a bumpy 4m.sea. The conditions have not dampened the spirits of this intrepid 16-yr.old who seems to be having the time of her life out there!
I have childhood memories of sea stories that featured ferocious hurricanes decimating entire armadas of galleons around Cape Horn! But Jessica seems to be taking everything in her stride (and has obviously picked the best time of year weatherwise for her trip too).
She's clocked up 9800nm by this, Day 88, of her solo circumnavigation as she approaches the half-way mark of her journey: I'm sure this day is one she'll never forget.
(for more, check out her website and blog)

Dogs DO Go To Heaven!

Following its deliberately-tactless Save the Whales billboard (Aug.2009) which seriously upset obese Americans, PETA (that's 'People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals') has produced a couple of sexy ads featuring Playboy covergirl Joanna Krupa: one entitled Angel and the other Church. The latter, featuring a strategically-placed crucifix, has displeased the US organisation, The Catholic League.

The League says: "Cats and dogs are a lot safer in pet stores than in the hands of PETA supporters. Moreover, pet stores don’t rip off Christian iconography and engage in cheap irreligious claims."
The practising Catholic model's response: "I’m doing what the Church should be doing, working to stop senseless suffering of animals, the most defenseless of God’s creations."

I feel the question isn’t so much "Is PETA being irreverant?"...but more "What is PETA actually selling?"

Clever marketing is one thing, but does Joanna Krupa really appeal to those wanting to adopt a puppy...or those likely to buy Playboy?

Jess Crosses The Equator

When her adventure first began, alot of people decried her supposed lack of seamanship and her age...but Jessica Watson is going strong.
The Aussie schoolgirl has just crossed the equator, a month and a day into her single-handed non-stop journey around the world.So far, no problems - although the first leg across the Pacific from Australia was expected to be troublefree. As her circumnavigation continues, conditions will toughen up, and Jess's abilities will be stretched to the limit, especially around the tip of South America.
She is posting daily updates on her blog, and many wellwishers link in regularly. If you'd like to support her, or just keep updated on progress, come back to this blog regularly...or for more, check out her website and blog.

Jessica's Journey Begins...

After colliding with another vessel while asleep at the helm, schoolgirl Jessica Watson has polarised public opinion over her attempt to be the youngest person to sail unassisted and solo around the world.

There're many sceptics pointing to her youth and lack of deep-water sailing experience. Still, society would be no safer if we stamped down hard on adventurism, beyond reasonable safeguards. Adventurous spirits are not easily denied: in this case a young Aussie teenager is pushing tolerances...and isn't that what teenagers do? Sometimes all you can do is try to help them be as safe as you can, be poised to help if it's needed, and worry like hell.

Her family certainly believe in her: they describe her as well-prepared, incredibly focussed and unbelievably mature for a 16 year old girl.

So, Jessica set sail today from Sydney on her 23,000 mile/8-month voyage in her little 34ft.boat, "Ella's Pink Lady" (which she describes as "really cute, but really tough as well.").
I'll be posting on her progress from time to time, or for more, check out her website and blog.