Greed and Terrorism

Having survived Hallowe'en – and the slobbering streams of costumed kids parasitically prowling for tasty treats – tonight we face the fireworks of Guy Fawkes Night.
This marks the infamous 1605 Gunpowder Plot, when a group of conspirators nearly blew up the British Houses of Parliament (and all within, including the king). But the baddies were arrested, tried and executed by being hung, drawn and quartered...all except for Guy Fawkes who avoided the gruesome latter part of his sentence by jumping from the gallows, breaking his neck and killing himself.
A very English tradition transplanted to NZ, it's slowly fizzling out here, but we'll still see hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of fireworks blasted into suburban skies from many backyards tonight.
I don't mind public fireworks displays, run as community fundraisers – the dosh goes to a good cause, there's a high calibre of pyrotechnics, and safety. But due to fingers being blown off every year, children blinded, animals hurt, fires caused... I'm in full support of a total ban on private fireworks use.
Consider what we're subliminally teaching our kids at this time of year. On Hallowe'en, we let vulnerable youngsters roam the streets, expecting free food from every house. Stuff your faces, kids! Pig out! "Greed is good!" Gordon Gecko rides again! Who?? And every stranger is your friend...
And tonight on Guy Fawkes, I'd be amazed if many kids – let alone their parents – actually know the night's historical background: that our society is immortalising a murderous terrorist!
Greed and terrorism: two cornerstones of today's reality.
Ha! Maybe the kids are getting the right lessons after all...!

PS: 04 Nov.2011 - Now here's a weird twist: a descendant of the man who caught Guy Fawkes works as a fireworks expert!!

Bill, The Economy... and "those Aussies"

I for one will be rather relieved when Bill English's ad for TVNZ7's Focus On The Economy programme finishes its run.
Is it appropriate for NZ's Deputy Prime Minister and Minister Of Finance to actually front a TV promo (other than featuring via a clip from a press conference or other such event)? While the programme aims to translate the recession into plain English, the title chosen is curiously also the title of Mr.English's personal newsletter! As the Labour Party has screamed, it smells of a National Party political broadcast.
But my concerns are more from my perceptions of the promo.
QUOTE: "We've underperformed compared to the per capita income growth of Australia." So? Some countries are surviving far better than others. Why specifically compare ourselves to Oz? Perhaps the Wizards of Oz have been a bit more effective than you, Toto?
QUOTE: "Y'know, we can beat those Aussies!" Ah-ha! So is this an Oz-bash? And doesn't that line illustrate a poor-little-us hung-dog mentality? Digging out of the recession is not about beating “those Aussies” – since when did they become an enemy or an economic threat?
And finally, QUOTE: "Us kiwis can do it!" That attempt at motivation merely highlights Bill's regularly fumbling grasp of English (excuse the word play). "Us kiwis?" Surely this learned Member of Parliament means "We kiwis"???
(Mind you, this is the same chap who saw no problem claiming accomodation expenses from the taxpayer, for a property he rarely lived in. Maybe he has a limited grasp on a lot of things...)
PS: 18 Nov.2009 - TVNZ discovers hindsight: read on...

Arnie's Secrets...?

If you grew up in the '60s, you'll remember ads like these... promising to make you the strongman in the crowd. Be the admiration of your friends as you flex your ripply pecs at every occasion...pose like the best of 'em...watch those muscles grow and bulge...and all for just $1 (post paid too)!
"The pal who before could handle you with ease will get a surprise of his life as you handle him easier than he ever did you." Hmmm...you could certainly read some double entendres into these old muscle ads!
So just how do you perform strongman tricks without strength? You don't need super-power when you know these amazing secrets! Tear telephone books in half, break a plank with your bare hands, support a wooden beam containing five nubile gents with just your…er...what an odd picture! Looks like he’s pretending to be a park bench, just to "poke" some fun at the five guys all dressed the same!
Who the hell ever came up with the creative copy for these ads???!!!