Into The Black Heart

Late last month (29 July), Sea Shepherd Captain Jessie Treverton from the UK re-entered the Faroe Islands' capital Tórshavn for the first time since her arrest in 2014.

She returned to demand a court trial and the return of a seized SS vessel.
The procrastinating Faroese prosecutor had yet to set a court date, almost two years after Treverton's Sept.2014 arrest for guiding a large pod of white-sided dolphins away from the killing bays of the Faroe Islands as part of SS's campaign Operation Grindstop. After MV Spitfire steered a large pod of dolphins to safety, the Danish Navy seized the UK-registered vessel and arrested its three crew, charging them with 'failure to report sightings of dolphins to the authorities' under the newly-introduced Grind Law and 'harassing dolphins' in an unprecedented interpretation of Faroese animal welfare legislation.
It seems in the Faroes it's legal to drive and kill an EU-protected cetacean species, but it's illegal to push them back out to sea in order to save them from harm...because that's considered harassment!
Treverton's court case has been postponed numerous times, but she now finally has a court summons for 24 Nov.2016. She believes the lengthy postponement is intentional, because any such trial will have a landmark impact on the traditional drive hunt and slaughter of pilot whales and other dolphins: "I'm looking forward to my court case, to highlight the ridiculous hypocrisy of the grind laws. If I'm found guilty of 'stressing' dolphins, the dolphin hunters can also be charged with that same offence. If I am found innocent, any person will be free to direct dolphins away from the islands to safety. Either way, it's a win for the oceans."
I'll bet when the FI legal beagles twisted the Grind Law around, they hadn't thought of that implication! Opps!

Grease Ain't Necessarily The Word!

The internet seems to be populated by many people with nothing better to do, than theorise about bizarre improbabilities!
One fan theory feverishly circulating is: hidden clues in the 1978 musical Grease reveal the devastating truth...that Sandy (Olivia Newton-John's character) is dead! And instead of going off into the sunset with her soulmate Danny Zuko (John Travolta), the clean-cut Aussie student is actually ascending into heaven.
This theory's been out there since 2013, but it's resurfaced and gained a whole new popularity. It goes like this:
In the final scene, Sandy and Danny leave their school carnival and get into a red convertible. But rather than simply driving off, the car defies the laws of gravity and flies into the sky.
How? Well, Danny hadn't really been able to save Sandy when she was drowning at the beginning of the film. Danny explains through song that they first met when Danny "saved her life - she nearly drowned."
The fan theory?  Sandy actually did drown on the beach that day. As she drowned, her brain deprived of oxygen, she had a vivid coma fantasy involving her summer fling Danny.
The visions get increasingly outlandish until finally, as Danny desperately tries to resuscitate her on the beach, she sees herself flying into heaven in her dying moments. Yeup, if you wanna believe that, the entire movie was a drowning woman's coma fantasy...!

The so-called evidence?
The last line of 'Look at me I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)' says 'Goodbye to Sandra Dee'. Everything that happens in the last scene is just a little TOO perfect. Danny and Sandy are back together despite everything, Rizzo SUDDENLY isn't pregnant AND Kenickie suddenly decides that he actually loves her, the geeky kid gets onto the sports team, everything is suddenly ok, just the way that sweet innocent Sandy would have wanted it to be.
And in the last shot of the movie, she flies up to heaven with her dream boyfriend in her magic flying car.
There you have it. In a nutshell. Perfect and neat, as all conspiracy theories are.
Except for one glaring oversight: explain Grease 2. Opps.

Wicked Campers Still Don't Get It

NZ's Department of Conservation (DOC) has joined a targeted assault against controversial campervan hire company Wicked Campers.
Wicked (which started in Oz and operates in NZ) is under fire from Associate Tourism Minister Paula Bennett for highly offensive slogans and imagery painted on its vehicles.
DOC has removed Wicked Campers from a list of rental companies, where tourists can buy a DOC campsite pass. A spokesman for Conservation Minister Maggie Barry says: "The ministers find these slogans sleazy, misogynistic and offensive."

Wicked Campers has a long history of hitting the headlines on both sides of the Tasman for all the wrong reasons:
March 2016 - Popular Nelson campsite Kaiteriteri Recreation Reserve banned Wicked Campers from their site, saying the vehicles' messages were inappropriate for the families staying there.
Feb.2016 - Whangarei District Council threatened to prosecute Wicked Campers if its campervans with offensive or objectionable material on them were found in the district.
Jan.2016 - NZ's Advertising Standards Authority upheld a complaint about a van slogan saying "The best thing about oral sex is the five minutes of silence." The board said the quote was deliberately provocative and offensive, was likely to cause serious and widespread offence to most people, and "had not been prepared with...social responsibility to consumers and society".
2015 - travel guide Lonely Planet said it would remove Wicked Campers from its NZ/Oz guidebooks because of its vans' offensive slogans.
2014 - Wicked Campers agreed to review a van featuring a witch passing a meth pipe to Snow White, after a police complaint.
NZ Police has joined the public campaign against Wicked Camper vans, but acknowledge it's a complex issue from a law enforcement perspective: "A message may be widely regarded as offensive and inappropriate, but this does not necessarily make it a criminal matter." The chief censor's office says for a publication to be banned, it has to have done "injury to the public good", instead of just being offensive.

Convictions for knowingly possessing objectionable material can result in a fine up to $50,000 or a 10 year prison sentence.
Meanwhile Associate Tourism Minister Paula Bennett wants the public to send her photos of all four sides of Wicked's vans: paula.bennett@parliament.govt.nz.
.

Who's Really So Vain?

One of the biggest questions in music history: who was Carly Simon really referring to in her hit You're So Vain?
You remember: "I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?"

Actor Warren Beatty has long been a prime suspect, and now Carly has confirmed it. But Beatty's wrong if he thinks the whole song is about him.
Carly's revealed he was only the subject of the second verse:
"You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and..."
Speaking about her new memoir Boys in the Trees, Simon says: "I've confirmed that the second verse is Warren." Asked if he knew this, she said that, in keeping with the song's theme, "Warren thinks the whole thing is about him!"
You're so Vain sold more than a million copies when it went to No.1 in USA in 1972-73 and, for more than 40 years, Simon has never publicly revealed the name of the subject, hinting that it could be a combination of people rolled into one.
Speculation has ranged from Beatty - once Simon's boyfriend - to her former husband James Taylor, to Mick Jagger (who sang back-up on the track) to showbiz tycoon David Geffen - though Simon squashed that rumour when it surfaced in 2010 (saying she didn't even know Geffen in '71 when she wrote the song).
Two other egotists are yet to be named. Asked if she will ever name the other two men, Simon says: "I don't think so, at least until they know it's about them."

Unt Zen Zere Were Five!

The 'Red Peak' flag will be added as a fifth possible choice in the NZ flag referendum.
Prime Munster John Key says "I'm not wanting to stand in the way of people having some choice."
Bless him - how considerate!
This remarkable mid-week turn-around came after growing support for the design seemed to be ignored, following a petty wee stand-off between the govt and Labour opposition on how it could be added to the designs already selected.
Johnno Key repeatedly said he'd only add Red Peak as a 5th option if Labour supported the process rather than criticising it. Then the Green Party came up with a work-around...which featured them not siding with Labour - at least according to the PM.
However, Greens co-leader James Shaw said the whole process had been deeply flawed from the start, and it was "absurd" that they had to come up with a solution.
Labour leader Andrew Little has accused Key of trying to put the blame on Labour for blocking Red Peak.

Currently, the 1st referendum (in November) will ask kiwis to rank the now-five alternatives. The winner will then run-off against the current flag next year.
New Zealand First has opposed Red Peak being added, in line with its strong opposition to any flag change - in fact it says the design resembles markings on WWII Nazi sentry boxes!
The fact remains that if voters don't want our current flag to change, then in November they should vote for the weakest of the options, to then fight off against the existing flag.
Just don't mention ze vor!

UPDATE: 25 Sept.2015 - Gareth Morgan calls the entire issue a "$26-million dollar folly" that's completely lost the public's buy-in.

Final Four? Forget It!

The final four designs for a proposed new NZ flag were released this week...to a less-than-enthusiastic response.
The designs were revealed by the Flag Consideration Panel as a new poll shows nearly half of voters are open to a change. A small majority - 53% - do not support a change, and 23% say they do support change 'in principle'. 61% of women want to keep the current flag, compared to 44% of men.
Thousands of design submissions were narrowed down to a long-list of 40, before the final four were revealed:

Woop de doo!

Three of the designs feature the silver fern...the preference of Prime Munster John Key (who's driving this issue as hard as he can!). The 'plain black with silver fern' was not on the shortlist: Key went cold on that, after a similarity to the Islamic State flag was noted.
Now the Great Unwashed will rank the four designs in the first referendum this November. A 2nd referendum next March will pit the preferred alternative against the current flag.
Flag Minister Bill English (Wow! What a promotion!!) says there's lotsa talk about the low level of public turnout to meetings...AND the cost: two referendums + consultation = $26 million!
Prime Munster Key denies Referendum No.1 is deliberately timed to coincide with the jingoistic Rugby World Cup mood *yawn*. No! No! Of course not. Riiiiiigghhtt!!
Meanwhile, it's been revealed that one of the long-list flags was removed after a copyright claim. And BTW, the NZ Rugby Union has made it damned clear that any successful choice involving a silver fern must NOT copy the NZRU design...or else! So, battle-lines are drawn...while most kiwis yawn!
But NZers are urged not to snooze over this issue, or the Republican Attitude of Key's Cronies will sneak by under cover of apathy.

Flag 'Em All!

The costly and wasteful process to choose what could be New Zealand's new flag has been trimmed down to 40 options.
The Flag Consideration Panel has released a "long list", chosen from more than 10,000 public submissions.
Chairman John Burrows: "A potential new flag should unmistakably be from NZ and celebrate us as a progressive, inclusive nation that's connected to its environment, and has a sense of its past and vision for its future."
The chosen 40 will now be subject to further scrutiny, including whether any breach intellectual property law. [Oh yes, mustn't forget that some maori think they have rights over a koru, and the NZ Rugby Union reckons it can claim the silver fern!]
Mid-next month, the panel will announce four of them, to be put to a national referendum. The winner will then go head-to-head with the current flag in another referendum in March 2016.
Prime Munster Johnno Key is trying to permanently stamp his legacy on this country by changing the flag, claiming ours is often mistaken for Australia's. But the cost of merely deciding whether to change the flag - up to $26m! - has come under heavy fire.
The Top 40 List is dominated by designs featuring koru, stars and ferns. Spokesman for the 'Silver Fern Flag' group Kyle Lockwood: "Like the maple leaf to Canada, the silver fern screams 'New Zealand', and it's not just a sports symbol. It's on our army and navy logos, our firefighters', police and sportsmen's uniforms, our money, passports,

national airline, and soon it'll be on NZ rockets sending satellites into space...it's our national symbol and it's time we put it on our flag." Hmmm, as you can tell, Kyle is quite OTT about the fern!
As for me, there's not ONE on the "long list" that smokes my tyres. I say: flag 'em all and keep what we've got!

ISIS In London

A tourist photographed this shocking moment outside London's Houses of Parliament last Saturday...
a man, draped in an Islamic State (ISIS) flag, with a young girl on his shoulders who's also waving a terrorist flag!
This is just days before Britain marks the 10th anniversary of the 7/7 terror attacks, and only a week after gunmen murdered 38 tourists (including 30 Brits) on a beach in Tunisia!
What's equally as shocking is that police stopped the man, but did not arrest him as his actions were deemed within the law.
Social media is running hot - many say it makes them feel unsafe on their own streets.
Scotland Yard says the officers considered the dick's actions were within the Public Order Act 1986. However a closer read of the Act reveals that "...wearing, carrying or displaying of an emblem or flag, by itself, is not an offence unless; the way in which, or the circumstance in which, the emblem is worn, carried or displayed is such as to cause reasonable suspicion that the person is a supporter or member of a prescribed organisation."
The spokesman added: "While support of and membership of ISIS is unlawful, it is not a criminal offence to advocate the creation of an independent state."
The Public Order Act clearly states that a person is guilty if he '...displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby.'
A Home Office spokesman says ISIS is very much on it's prescribed 'naughty boys' list, and therefore showing signs you support that group IS an offence.
It's clear that someone - seemingly the officer who spoke to the flagbearing dickhead - cocked up, and needs a Public Order Act refresher course urgently!

Isis In Name, Not Nature

Isis has been removed from the official list of future Pacific hurricane names.
As the name of an ancient Egyptian goddess, Isis had been on the UN's World Meteorological Organisation (WMO) list of names for hurricanes for 2016. ISIS is of course also synonymous with the Islamic State terror group, gradually spreading its terrorist tentacles around the world.

The Hurricane Committee removed the name Isis from the rotating list and replaced it with Ivette. Names are knocked off the list (which rotates every six years), if they’re considered inappropriate by virtue of causing too much damage or too much death.
This is however not the case with Isis – the connotations are just too great, and the WMO deemed it inappropriate.
Others too are making name changes away from Isis. An Auckland talent and event management company last year undertook a costly rebrand to save itself. Some of the talent listed with Issis Events said they no longer wanted to work with it because of the association with ISIS. And there're dozens of NZ businesses operating under the name Isis or Issis.
Despite the name, houses in the upper-middle class Isis Street in Earlsfield, South London, are still selling for £1million.
Wonder if the town fathers in Oamaru will be considering a name change for THEIR Isis Street?

Flag It Away, John!

NZ's Prime Minister has been pushing his "new flag" hobbyhorse again, using the devisive Waitangi Day commemorations as a platform.
In a speech to business and maori leaders, John Key spoke of his vision for NZ in 25 years' time when, in 2040, we celebrate 200 years of nationhood: "(By then) I'd like to see a new New Zealand flag raised at the Waitangi Day dawn service. That's my personal preference...I think the (current) flag captures a colonial and post-colonial era whose time has passed."
And Johnno promised that maori would be fully consulted and have a say in the design choice. Like...hello!!! As maori make up only 10% of our population, they should only get 10% of the consultation. We ALL have a choice in this flag - IF it happens - not just one race. Cut out the political tokenism, PM!

"All my own work" - John Key

Johnno still wants the silver fern on the flag: "It's the symbol of NZ, it's internationally recognisable." But many point out that splashing said fern on a black background (a la the precious bloody All Blacks *yawn*) would create an image too similar to the ISIS terror group.
JK's always quick to add that, other than changing the flag, he remains a constitutional monarchist and does not want to see NZ become a republic.

PM's preference...and to hell with you!

John Key says he's softened on his preference for a silver fern on a black flag, instead liking this Kyle Lockwood design.
But do you agree that the colour scheme too closely resembles the maori protest flag, and thus reeks of the arse-licking tokenism that JK spewed forth at Waitangi this year?
A referendum on the flag will be held over this parliamentary term, in a two-step process. Voters will be able to choose between an alternative flag, and then whether that flag should replace the current one.

Sense And Sensibility

"Gisborne" is not it's official name!
According to the New Zealand Geographic Board, the city's name has never been gazetted and is regarded (by the board) as a collected or recorded name.

NZ Geo.Board secretary Wendy Shaw: "There is no record for either Gisborne or Turanga (the original maori name)."
During colonial settlement, many place names were classified as 'recorded' and had 'pseudo-official status'. The status of Gisborne as a place name is identical to that of the 'North Island' and 'South Island'. It was revealed last year that those names had never been gazetted... remember what happened after THAT revelation!
87% of public submissions favoured the status quo. However NZGB dismissed those supporting numbers, and was swayed by submitters' reasons. Yeup, if you're a minority holding a good-enough reason (one of the BEST reasons being "I'm an oppressed minority"), you'll win the day!
So...Gisborne was named after William Gisborne, colonial secretary in the William Fox-led NZ Govt from 1869-1872. Good enough reason? The town's Post Office took the name Gisborne in 1870. Howzat! And the next confirmed official usage of the name was in 1877 when Gisborne Borough Council was formed. The clincher, surely!
Ahhhh, but wait: it's believed the name was changed from Turanga (shortened from Turanga-nui-a-Kiwa,"great standing place of Kiwa", to avoid confusion with Tauranga in the Bay of Plenty. Kiwa was supposedly the witch doctor of the Horouta canoe, one of the supposed canoes that brought maori from their supposed homeland of Hawaiiki.) Supposed...supposed...supposed...
Well, in THAT case, we MUST change the city name to that of a maori, mustn't we! It's the way of the PC world! No matter that virtually no-one will want it, as long as the vocal minority is placated! But wait: even THEY are confused, having also credited Mr.Kiwa with being the supposed commander of another supposed migratory canoe! And some even claim Gisborne was first named Tairawhiti - "the coast upon which the sun shines across the water."
Oh, the pressure! I know, let's call for public submissions again!

Art? Or Fart?

My eye was caught by an opinion piece in last Thursday's Press, by Jenny Harper, director of Christchurch Art Gallery.
Art - and the collecting of it - matters to Christchurch as the city rebuilds, she writes. Sounds interesting, methinx, as I settle in to what I expected would be an article covering the Gallery's behind-the-scenes work since it's earthquake closure.
Well, it was...and it wasn't.
More than anything, it was a justification for some grandiose purchases in the name of 'good art'.
Harper: "I'm utterly clear that good art really matters. I'm convinced that collections of art matter more than a single work or that of a single individual."

So while the city has rumbled, tumbled and started to claw its way back to its New Reality, the Gallery's been spending money, quietly gathering goodies for our cultural advancement.
You'll recall the curiosity called Chapman's Homer - a well-hung bronze bull astride a grand piano, first seen in mid-demolition site, and later the subject of a public fundraising campaign, to buy it...for our own artistic good.
It's "a brilliant reminder" says Harper "of a community-wide effort to represent the time the earthquake changed our lives forever." How a bull on a piano represents EQ devastation is beyond me! Perhaps a bull in a china shop...?
Now the Gallery's steamrolling a $5m endowement fund to buy itself lots more goodies...er, for our own good. Harper spins it thus:
"We've decided to ban the words donate and give. This is a partnership; it's mutual; it's about loyalty; it's about building our legacy; it's about art." Of course...!
And brace yourself, Christchurch, for five mega-costly art purchases

Bebop? Or be ripped off?!!

coming your way:
No.1 was the slab o' steak on the keyboards.
No.2 is described as "a marvellous and playful work" by NZ contemporary artist Bill Culbert called Bebop.
Take a good hard look at the pic: spin this any way you like...it's just some neon tube lights dangling among old kitchen chairs! Remove the rose-tinted artyfarty specs, Jen - this is op-shop junk tarted up as culture! Yet you raised over $80K just for this???
Harper assures us that Bebop will "become part of our legend: valued, loved, responded to and enjoyed for many years." Riiigghhtt...
Well, please don't buy his piece called Strait. His own publicity describes it as just a line of Anchor milk bottles with a bolt of fluorescent light through them. I'll make it for you myself this weekend! And even DONATE it!! Opps, sorry... PARTNERSHIP it!!
She says "...it's important to maintain the cultural heartbeat of the city and to represent this time. This too is part of our rebuild." Granted. No argument.
Harper: "We're here because good art matters." Terrific.
Then please will you purchase some actual GOOD ART???!!!

Explaining Twerking to Your Parents

Every teenager dreads the day when your parents come to you, innocently asking: "What's twerking?"

Can public twerking make you go blind?

Remember: it's far better for you to explain, than for them to learn on their own by searching YouTube.
So...a critical first step is to acknowledge that twerking is a normal part of life and there's nothing shameful in their questions. They’re parents, after all and...well...they're curious.
Explain that twerking is a dance move typically associated with lower-income African-American women, involving the rapid gyration of the hips in a fashion that prominently exhibits the elasticity of the gluteal musculature. They'll be puzzled why Miley Cyrus, who is white and wealthy, does it at every opportunity. Patiently respond that, for Ms. Cyrus, twerking is a brazenly cynical act of cultural appropriation being passed off as a rebellious reclamation of her sexuality after a childhood in the Disney-fied spotlight.
Upon hearing what twerking is, it's natural for your parents to want to experiment with it. They may even proudly announce, "Look at us, we're twerking!" not recognizing the inappropriateness of their actions and words. Try to resist the urge to chastise them; doing so will only increase their desire to twerk in defiance, perhaps in private.
It's also possible that your parents may suggest twerking at their next dinner party. Adopt a strict no-tolerance policy for group twerking unless you're there to supervise, other parents' children are warned beforehand and have given permission, and everyone in attendance is invited to participate.

Palmie...or Manawatu City?

Jim Quixote

Palmerston North deputy mayor Jim Jefferies is publically jousting with his own personal windmill again.
In 1998, Jefferies - not even a councillor then - suggested the city should change its name to better reflect its identity. He proposed Manawatu City, and has restarted the debate as deputy mayor this year. Jefferies says that, as Lord Palmerston never even made it to NZ, the city shouldn't feel any loyalty to him: "I've lived here since 1982, but the name of this city has never endeared itself to me."

Manawatu City. Yea, right.

His sentiments are shared by Monty Python comic John Cleese, who described his time there as "thoroughly bloody miserable." Conversely, motoring man Jeremy Clarkson said if God had got it right, then "Jesus would have been from Palmerston North."
This ain't the first time a local political minnow has opened his/her gob and fallen in. How can we forget Otaki Community Board member Jackie Elliott, who revealed a penis fixation over the new Kapiti District logo?
Jim, if it ain't broken, why fix it? Palmerstonians have been happy with the name for over 140 years, even if you're not! The large clearing where it was established was Te Papaioea – far too monolithic a mouthful for daily use. Meanwhile Manawatu (the district) got its name from maori explorer Hau. While chasing his wife and her lover, he came across a wide river. Fearing he may not be able to cross, he cried: "Ka tu taku manawa." ("My heart stands still.").
So, if Jimbo Jefferies has his way, the city will either be named after the utterings of a cuckolded hubby...or perhaps be known as 'the home of the heart attack' ("My heart stands still")!
I can't see either suggestion pleasing John Cleese!

007: M's Real Name

She was the fierce MI6 boss known only by the codename M.
But now the true identity of James Bond's mentor has finally been revealed - after a bit of sleuthing that even 007 himself would have been proud of!
An eagle-eyed fan watching the latest Bond movie Skyfall managed to freeze-frame a single camera shot lasting just a split-second...and discovered that M's real name was Olivia Mansfield.

I say "was" (past tense) because as you'll know, if you're a diehard 007 fan, M - played by Dame Judi Dench - meets her demise in Skyfall.
Post-funeral, James Bond is handed a box containing a Royal Doulton bulldog draped in a British flag, which is usually kept on M's desk. If you look really REALLY carefully and quickly, zooming in on the box's inscription, you'll see the words 'From the Estate of Olivia Mansfield Bequeathed to James Bond'.
Since the revelation, internet forums have been filled with speculation about the significance of the name. One theory is that it's a tribute to Mansfield Smith-Cumming, first head of MI6 who started the tradition of the organisation's director signing letters with a single letter – in his case C. Others have speculated it is a portmanteau of 'man's field', alluding to the fact that M worked in a male-dominated industry.
Since Dame Judi Dench became Bond's first female spymaster in 1995, producers have dropped a series of hints about her character's name. You'll recall in Casino Royale (2006), 007 tells his boss: "I thought M was a randomly assigned letter. I had no idea it stood for *****." To which she interjects: "Utter one more syllable and I'll have you killed."
So now you know what your favourite secret agent has kept secret for the last seven years!

The Dream Surfer

Do you recognise this man?
Ever seen him...in your dreams?
Every night throughout the world, hundreds dream about this face. He is referred to only as 'This Man' by the people who see him.
Who IS he?
In January 2006, a patient of a New York psychiatrist described a man, who had turned up repeatedly in her dreams and given her advice on her life. The patient drew a picture of the man and was certain she'd never met him before in her waking life. The portrait sat forgotten on the pychiatrist's desk for a few days...until another patient saw it and identified the man as a frequent visitor in HIS dreams. Creepy? You ain't heard nothing yet! The psychiatrist sent the drawing to some colleagues: several of their patients also recognised the face!
According to the This Man website, from January 2006 until now, at least 2000 people claim to have seen This Man in their dreams, all over the world: Los Angeles, Berlin, Sao Paulo, Tehran, Beijing, Rome, Barcelona, Stockholm, Paris, New Delhi, Moscow etc.
Is he God? Satan? A "dream surfer" jumping from one sleeping mind to another? Or something else entirely? At the moment there is no common trait among the people who have dreamed of seeing this man. But he's caught so many people's imaginations (as well as dreams) that several songs have been written about him!
Plenty of theories abound: that this man is the image of the Creator so the words he utters should be followed by the dreamers; or the Dream Imitation theory - that people are dreaming of him only because they want to; or a really wierd one called the 'Dream Surfer' theory - that this is a REAL man who has somehow found a way to

Carlos the Jackal

intrude into our dreams.
When I saw This Man's picture, I immediately thought, if he was wearing glasses, he could be Vladimir Illich Ramirez, the terrorist known as The Jackal!
Is that just my imagination? Or a dream? Or a Vulcan mind-meld? Will we ever know...?

Holiday For The Anzacs

"Mondayising" of Anzac Day and Waitangi Day is all but reality.
NZ Prime Minister John Key expects an opposition MP's bill on the matter to pass into law, and ruled out a govt veto on it.
Labour MP (Dunedin North) David Clark's members' bill would see the Anzac and Waitangi Day holidays transferred to a Monday if they fall on a weekend. The National govt does not support it, claiming it'll put too much load on businesses and would detract from the significance of the dates. However the bill has the support of minority parties - giving it just enough support to pass without govt support.
Johnno Key says it's highly unusual for an Opposition member's bill to pass without the support of the main governing party, but it would be "disingenuous" for National to start supporting it at this stage. The bill is expected to pass its third reading and be law by the end of the year.
It needs to be acknowledged that the RSA opposes "Mondayisation" of Anzac Day. Although it's been assured that the commemorations themselves would still be held on every April 25th., the association is concerned that the acknowledgment of the day would be vulnerable to being lost, if it was buried amid the recreational and travelling distractions of a long weekend.
The RSA need not be worried. With kiwi attendance figures growing every year - even as the veterans' numbers dwindle - New Zealanders will still be moved to show up and honour the sacrifices made. Anzac Day matters because it matters. As a nation, we get that.
But as for Waitangi Day? Sacrifices? Commemoration? Ha, that's just a bloody joke...

Used And Abused

It might be inconceivable that you may misuse a word.
But a quick look on the web or tv shows plenty DO. And it's all too easy, when we hear or see words used incorrectly, to repeat them without knowing we're wrong.
Often good advertising, articles or books deliberately break grammatical rules. But when you break the rules without knowing it, you can look like a right plonker. Here're some commonly misused words: some pretty basic - others more obscure and just interesting to know.
Averse / Adverse: Averse - reluctant. Adverse - unfavourable. ("I'm averse to go sailing in such adverse conditions").
Carnage: This is being used regularly and wrongly by young tv weather reporters. Carnage means a great slaughter, a massacre. A storm cannot deliver carnage unless it claims many lives. Heavy rainfall is not carnage.
Complement / Compliment: Complement - something that adds to or supplements something else. Compliment - something nice someone says about you.
Criteria: Criteria (standards by which something's judged) is plural - criterion is singular.
Empathy / Sympathy: Empathy is relating to someone's feelings, without them having to say anything. Sympathy is supporting the emotional experience of that person.
"I empathise with how Sam must feel over losing his father."
"Sam, I offer my sympathy at the loss of your father."
Farther / Further: Farther talks about a physical distance: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How much farther is it?" Further is talking about an extension of time or degree: "Take your business further by buying X!" But then again, anxious Little Timmy may well be enquiring about the timeframe of the journey…!

It's Twisted, Sister

Destined to be a memorial...
The Medway St footbridge was taken away for safekeeping last week. The bridge became a symbol of the destructive power of Christchurch's earthquakes after it was twisted beyond repair by the Sept.2010 EQ.
Last week it was lifted in three sections by a 300-tonne crane from its Avon River site, and taken to the Ferrymead Heritage Park. It'll remain there until a permanent home can be found for it to become an EQ memorial.
There was some sadness among locals to see it go, but also relief because it was a stark reminder of the EQs for many people. Some residents had wanted the bridge to stay as it was, but safety concerns meant that was not possible. It was only being held on a few bolts and, every time there was an aftershock, it was getting worse.
It's hoped the bridge may find a place as a memorial within the Avon River park.
+ ...and another EQ reminder also looks set to disappear soon. The hands on the historic Victoria Clock Tower have been jammed at 12.51pm for nearly two years, but Chch City Council staff say time should now move on.
The council is committed to repairing the EQ-damaged tower, which marks Queen Victoria's diamond jubilee, but considered leaving one face of the clock permanently fixed at the time of the quake on
Feb.22, 2011 as a memorial.
Now a report recommends the council abandon that idea and restore the clock to full working order. Council's parks heritage contract manager, Maria Adamski, says if one face of the clock remained at 12.51pm it would alter the purpose of the clock as a memorial to Queen Victoria's jubilee. She said visitors would not understand the significance of the time displayed, the clock would not fulfil its purpose as a timepiece, and complaints about the time being incorrect were likely.
On the contrary, I feel Adamski has missed the point. Few visitors to Chch nowadays would even know who Queen Victoria was, let alone the date of her jubilee. This is not about being anti-Royalist, but leaving even one face of the clock marking a moment the city will never forget has far more meaning than a tugging of the forelock to a long-dead distant dame...
How about the council doing something that the people of Chch want, if that's not too twisted a suggestion..!

Nazi Buddhist Space Statue. Yea. Right.

To paraphrase slightly: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably wasn't actually discovered by Nazis.
Last month, researchers announced they had identified a "priceless," 1000yr.old swastika-emblazoned statue of buddha carved from a meteorite, and discovered by a Nazi ethnologist before WWII!
Now, according to The Guardian, Buddhism specialist Achim Bayer claims the 24cm statue features over a dozen "pseudo-Tibetan" characteristics that cast serious doubts on whether the figure was really sculpted in the pre-Buddhist Bon culture of the 11th Century...such as the statue's shoes, trousers and hand positioning, and that the buddha has a full beard rather than the thin facial hair usually given to a deity in Tibetan and Mongolian art. Bayer says he believes the statue's a European fake made sometime between 1910-1970.
An earlier expert had claimed the statue's previous owner told him it had been brought to Europe by Ernst Schäfer, a Nazi ethnologist. In the late 1930s, Schäfer led an SS expedition to Tibet in search of ze Aryan race's origins. But historian Isrun Engelhardt (an expert on zat expedition) is unconvinced: "There is an extremely precise list of the purchased objects, including date, place and value, but this statue is not on it." Achtung! Ze list has over 2,000 pieces but ze meteorite statue is not a piece purchased privately by Schäfer.

Vell, ve VOULD haf found it,
if it wasn't for zat meddling
Doctor Indiana Jones!

In fact, there seems to be only one piece of the statue's story that IS true: that it was in fact hewn from a piece of the famed Chinga iron meteorite, strewn across the border region between Russia and Mongolia 10-20,000 years ago.
Ach, at least it's still a statue from space, ja? Just don't mention ze vor!