Explaining Twerking to Your Parents

Every teenager dreads the day when your parents come to you, innocently asking: "What's twerking?"

Can public twerking make you go blind?

Remember: it's far better for you to explain, than for them to learn on their own by searching YouTube.
So...a critical first step is to acknowledge that twerking is a normal part of life and there's nothing shameful in their questions. They’re parents, after all and...well...they're curious.
Explain that twerking is a dance move typically associated with lower-income African-American women, involving the rapid gyration of the hips in a fashion that prominently exhibits the elasticity of the gluteal musculature. They'll be puzzled why Miley Cyrus, who is white and wealthy, does it at every opportunity. Patiently respond that, for Ms. Cyrus, twerking is a brazenly cynical act of cultural appropriation being passed off as a rebellious reclamation of her sexuality after a childhood in the Disney-fied spotlight.
Upon hearing what twerking is, it's natural for your parents to want to experiment with it. They may even proudly announce, "Look at us, we're twerking!" not recognizing the inappropriateness of their actions and words. Try to resist the urge to chastise them; doing so will only increase their desire to twerk in defiance, perhaps in private.
It's also possible that your parents may suggest twerking at their next dinner party. Adopt a strict no-tolerance policy for group twerking unless you're there to supervise, other parents' children are warned beforehand and have given permission, and everyone in attendance is invited to participate.

Putin: Transvestite In Jackboots?

Zero deviation from the Big Brother-decreed 'norm' is the order of the day in Russia.
You'll recall the furore (Aug.2012) when three lesbians from the Pussy Riot punk collective were found guilty of hooliganism, for a protest against Pres. Vladimir Putin, and

Oh, ROCKY!! Lookin' good, Vlad!

faced 2yrs' jail. That same week, Moscow's high court upheld a 100yr.ban on gay pride.
St Petersburg was one of the first Russian cities to introduce a law banning 'gay propaganda'. Russia's parliament adopted similar laws, prompting protests and calls for a boycott of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Russia.
This week, it's the G20 leaders' summit in St. Petersburg. So maybe Russia wants to portray a 'certain image'... or perhaps its merely Vlad The Putin who's concerned about his own image.
Either way, a painting showing Putin wearing tight-fitting women's underwear and brushing Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev's hair has been torn down by Russian police from a St. Petersburg gallery, for breaking unspecified laws. *shock*horror*probe* The artist has fled the country and is seeking asylum, fearing for his life.
Now, we can all see Putin is the master of the staged macho photo op. Whether tranquilising polar bears, harpooning whales, riding horses barechested or commanding a submarine, the Prez rarely drops his 'tough guy' image. (Bless him, he provides us with a few good sniggers!) We have seen him catch record-sized fish, and hang out with criminal bikie gangs. But what's with all this?
If Vlad spent half his photo-op time leading his country into...hell, even the 20th century with a dawning liberalisation!... he'd gain the sort of popularity that he dreams these images already bring him.
Or are these pix carefully staged to mask his real sexuality...which, by his own draconian laws, is banned? Does Putin go fishing...merely to hide his fishnets?

The Company You Keep

Could the archetypal British dish of fish'n'chips be actually supporting the killing of endangered fin whales?
Unwitting Brits are eating fish, caught by an Icelandic firm with links to a company that resumed commercial whaling this year.
Campaigners are calling on Warners Fish Merchants in Doncaster (which supplies 8% of Britain's fish'n'chip shops) to halt imports from the Icelandic fishing giant, HB Grandi, which has close links with the whaling company Hvalur.
The Environmental Investigation Agency (EIA) believes up to 90 fin have been killed by Hvalur since hunting in Icelandic waters resumed after a two-year hiatus. The fin whale was heavily hunted during the C20th., and is classed as 'endangered'.
Clare Perry, EIA: "Warners and other British companies should ensure there are absolutely no ties to whaling, before importing fish from Icelandic companies or other companies from whaling countries like Norway, Japan and the Faroe Islands."
Warners describes itself as having "a strong relationship with HB Grandi", and thus is fully aware that Kristjan Loftsson (owner of Hvalur) is chairman of its board, and that the companies share processing facilities.
"HB Grandi has in the past leased one of its buildings to Hvalur for processing whale meat," says Gary Warner, "...but HB Grandi does not have any quota on whales, nor does it catch or process whales." So, Gazza, just because HB Grandi doesn't actually fire the explosive harpoons, that makes its chummy association with Hvalur and bloodthirsty Loftsson ok?
In May 2011, major UK seafood supplier Findus marked HB Grandi as 'unacceptable' across its entire supply chain, for its whaling links. And in June 2012, HB Grandi was banned from supplying seafood to the 2012 London Olympics, for the very same reason!
It doesn't take a brain surgeon to read the writing on the wall: any association with any company linked to whaling will cost businesses dearly! Can Warners afford to lose 8% of its trade, because of the company it keeps...

Warners Fish Merchants: proudly supporting HB Grandi...